“Here is a trustworthy saying,
‘If we died with him, we will live with him;
If we endure, we will also reign with him;
If we disown him, he will disown us;
If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot deny himself.’” II Timothy 2:11-13
So often I have been a faithless child who looks to a Father who continues to be faithful. When I look back over eight years of dealing with cancer, I marvel at the ways of God. Each one of us has his own journey… a race God has given us to run. We are instructed to keep our eyes fixed on the One who saved us, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Often God chooses not to reveal much of the path ahead so we can learn to walk by faith. Though I know this to be true, I still sometimes express my disagreements:
“Lord, why do I have to deal with all this? Why can’t you just take the problems away?”
“Do you trust me more now than you did eight years ago or do you trust me less? Do you believe that my strength can be seen in your weakness?”
“I trust you more, Lord, but I’m not too sure about the matter of my weakness. I will admit that on every occasion it seems you give me just what I need. I needed energy to run camps again this past summer and you supplied. When I’ve gone to other countries, you’ve always given me great health for the trip. Why can’t those high-energy, healthy times continue year round? Why do I have to deal with the lows?”
“I taught my children in the desert to depend on me for their food each day. Some wanted to gather extra manna to store up for the future, but I always made the surplus rot. I want to teach you the same lesson. Will you trust me each day?”
“I’m trying to learn, Lord, but there’s so much I don’t understand. Why did John die of cancer, Lord? He was just twenty-five years old and had only been married a couple of months. And why has twenty-year-old David had such a rough battle with leukemia? And what about Jane and Henry and Dick and Holly and…”
“Do you really think you can handle the details of the suffering of others? You can’t. But you can share this: God is for his children; He is not against them. Then you can practice what so many have given you… my love. My love is often best understood in the hard times of life. You don’t need to figure everything out, but you can be my hands and feet on the earth.”
So here’s my confession at the beginning of another school year: I don’t want to be faithless, but if I’m honest, sometimes I am. I don’t want to doubt, but sometimes I do. I don’t want to complain, but sometimes I’m pretty much a wimp. The truth is: God is faithful. He rescues, he overcomes, and he gives peace in the storm. He cannot deny himself, and his children are a part of him. Even if it is time to pass from this life to the next, he is with us… for he is our faithful Shepherd.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9