Eighteen years ago I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable blood cancer. The doctor broke the news to me on my 41st birthday. Sometime in that first year, a friend and colleague suggested I share the lessons God teaches through trials. Another friend, Steve Wolf, has organized these messages into categories that can be found on his website. There are over 600 writings posted and categorized. I think God’s lessons are infinite.
The first message I tried to communicate was: “I Am Loved.” I’m convinced this is still the first lesson God wants to teach every man, woman, boy, and girl. “Jesus loves me, this I know…” In Christ this magnificent love is revealed. The more we know Jesus, the more we understand God’s love… and God’s love is the hope of the world.
Jesus is the Master Teacher. The Father, who loves us and has saved us, intends that each be molded into the image of His Son. The Holy Spirit guides, empowers, directs, and comforts us as we live in Christ. God’s ways are brilliant and beyond our comprehension. Presently, I am trying to merge two truths that seem to contradict one another. One truth is that I am righteous, holy, and perfect in Christ. The other is that I am weak, prone to sin, and slow to learn.
The first truth is absolute. Scripture after Scripture reveals God’s accomplishments for those who put their faith in Christ. We are new creations; we have been given the Holy Spirit; we are branches in the perfect Vine; we are the beloved children of God.
The second truth is no less true. My wife, children, and close friends can quickly confirm my flaws. If I am honest, I recognize my shortcomings better than anyone. The devil wants us to fall under condemnation with such self-examination, but Jesus wants to simply teach us and help us grow.
At the beginning of the summer I was chosen to be a part of a cutting-edge medical effort to cure multiple myeloma. I am the 6th person to enter this trial in Georgia and the 95th in the world. Over 40 people were on the waiting list at Emory and I was chosen. My doctor and his team jumped through many hoops to make it happen. Susan and I both felt this is what God wanted us to do.
The last week of school, I went through several tests to qualify. Some tests were easy; others were more difficult, but I’ve done it all before. After passing everything, the official entry into the trial was the ‘signing of consents’ which took place at Emory with my doctor explaining the necessity of following every detail of the study. The most important day after consents were signed was the ‘harvesting of T-cells’ on a date fixed in stone by the drug company financing the trial. The day was exactly in the middle of the week we were supposed to be in Ecuador… another assignment we felt God had given. Being up front with my doctor and the trial coordinator, we explained our dilemma and I promised to return early in time for my appointment. They hesitantly agreed, I signed the consents, and three days later we were on a plane to Ecuador.
I would like to boast about being so confident that everything would go super-smoothly that I was as calm as Jesus in the boat during a storm. The truth is, after landing in Ecuador a new anxiety popped into my head almost every hour that could prevent me from fulfilling my commitment to the trial. So how can a ‘new creation’ worry so much? I prayed constantly for grace, realizing I could not overcome with my own will-power. Others also prayed for me… and Jesus taught.
I was to be at Emory at 7:30 am on Thursday. The plane from Quito was scheduled to depart at 11:30 Wednesday night and arrive in Atlanta at 5:50 Thursday morning. Given my well-earned reputation for getting lost, our friend Marco volunteered to accompany me from Cajabamba to Quito. We were to leave Wednesday a little before 1:30 and take the four hour trip by bus to the capitol. At 1:40, I stood in a prayer circle with Marco’s parents and an American friend; Marco had not arrived. As Pastor Manuel prayed in Spanish, everyone was shedding tears… except me. You know what I was thinking: “Where is Marco? If we miss that bus, I am in trouble.”
God convicted me in that tiny prayer circle: “These are my saints… who love Me and love you.” In other words: “Seek My kingdom first.” In other words: “Take no thought for your life.” Marco arrived as the prayer ended; we caught the bus with 5 seconds to spare; we made it to the Quito bus terminal; I took a taxi to the airport and arrived three hours before the scheduled departure. Then I learned the plane to Atlanta was delayed by more than an hour and one person said the flight might be cancelled.
I concluded: “OK Lord, I think I was supposed to come to Ecuador. I think I am supposed to be on this trial. I’ll either make it or I won’t. I’m in Your hands.” The plane left around 1:00 am. I got to Emory at 7:45 and spent nearly eight hours at the hospital letting them harvest my T-cells. This involved placing a triple line in an artery in my neck, drawing my blood out of one line into a machine that separated the special white blood cells from the rest of the cells, then returning the blood through another line back into my body. Taylor and his kids picked me up that afternoon and took me home… and I gave thanks.
The main lesson seems familiar: I am loved… whether I catch a plane or not. My family is loved; you are loved; Pastor Manuel and all his family and citizens of Ecuador are loved. Love is the banner over God’s Kingdom and we can trust Him. (In a week or so we should know the effectiveness of the treatment…)
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” I John 4:16