I heard Coach Mike Krzyzewski speak at a banquet in Atlanta many years ago. It was such an incredible speech that I wrote him a letter and sent it to Duke University. I couldn’t believe it when just a couple of weeks later I received a long letter signed by Coach K encouraging me as a high school coach. Our team was in the region tournament at the time, so I told the girls about my good friend Coach K, and read them the letter. They were quite impressed until I shared the greeting that proved we weren’t quite as close as I had boasted: Dear Ms. Davis…
Mike Krzyzewski and Jimmy Valvano were about as different as two people could be. One was from Polish descent; one was Italian. Mike had an army background and the discipline to prove it; Jimmy was a free spirit. Mike was direct, deliberate, and serious; Jimmy was spontaneous, emotional, and fun-loving. As coaching rivals in the same league, Coach K did not like Jimmy V at all. But when Jimmy Valvano was diagnosed with cancer, Mike Krzyzewski went to visit him. As he got to know Jimmy and witnessed how openly and honestly he dealt with a deadly disease, two former opponents became best friends.
In 1993, not long before he died, Coach Valvano was given the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the ESPY awards ceremony presented by ESPN. Coach V was very sick that day, but he reluctantly agreed to go to the ceremony. Coach Valvano gave a powerful speech, after which Coach K helped Jimmy down the steps from the stage. Two months later, Coach K was at Jimmy’s bedside when he died.
So why the turnaround? It takes humility to reach out to someone you don’t really like, but great blessings result. Coach K came to realize that his former coaching rival was simply different than he was. He grew to admire a person who was honest about everything and passionate about life. Jimmy V found in Coach K a man who excelled as much in loyalty as he did in coaching basketball. To this day, Coach Krzyzewski continues to promote the good work of The V Foundation for Cancer Research as a member of the foundation’s board.
I have friends (and you do too) who are going through hard times. We are not to shy away from pain. We are not expected to solve all the problems, but we can write a note, or make a call, or hold a hand, or prepare a meal, or simply be a good friend. Humility, loyalty, compassion, kindness, honesty, and love are the qualities we need and Jesus richly supplies.
“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…” Philippians 2:1-5