Dana's Christian Journey

musings of a thankful cancer survivor

Author: Dana

  • fellowship

    —

    Dana

    Believe it or not, a person can be very close to the Cross and miss out on everything. “One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: ‘Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!’ But the other criminal rebuked him. ‘Don’t you fear God,’ he said, ‘since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.’”

    In the first part of his letter to the Romans, Paul gives the sobering truth about the condition of man. He quoted part of this passage from Psalm 36. “An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.”

    “I will put the fear of me in their hearts so they will not turn away from me.” Another translation of this verse from Jeremiah reads: “I will inspire them to fear me, so they will never turn away from me.” How does God do this? In the early days of the Church a husband and wife dropped dead after lying about their degree of generosity. Here was the predictable result: “Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.” While God may not strike down the dishonest of a congregation today, he still pierces hearts.

    I was in Mexico once and went into a little Catholic church to pray, but I’m afraid I did more judging than praying. Since God not only hears our prayers, but reads our hearts, he knew my need. That night, while reading the first few chapters of Romans, his sword cut deep: “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on the truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you to repentance?”

    We can learn much from the thief on the cross who was humble and honest. “I know I’m guilty. I deserve any punishment I receive. But, Lord, will you have mercy on me? Will you remember me when you enter your kingdom?” The suffering Savior’s answer reveals the great desire of God. “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” As the brazen criminal taunted Jesus, he was only moments away from the fear of the Lord. At death, every atheist, pagan, and unbeliever instantly fears God. “‘As surely as I live’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’” But God longs for something else; his desire is fellowship.

    Read I John this week. The apostle proclaims Jesus so there can be fellowship… with God and with one another. Walk in the light. Walk in truth. Walk in love. Walk in joy. “This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” And Jesus walked in fellowship with his Father. Another section of Psalm 36 declares his praise:

    “Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart.” Psalm 36:5-10

  • fear of the Lord

    —

    Dana

    Some may think what is written today conflicts with the message of God’s love, but it does not. When three-year-old John is at our house, something could happen that might not look like love. If John walks into the road without permission, he will receive swift and intense pain. I want the ‘fear of Dana’ to keep this little boy far away from a dangerous step. Is such an attitude meanness… or love?

    At risk of being labeled crazy, I want to share three occasions when I faced unique moments of fear (I won’t include many stories from foreign lands 🙂 ).

    1. More than eight years ago (before cancer), I was praying in my bedroom and felt God impress something on my heart that made me tremble: “Jesus is coming back soon and most people aren’t prepared.”
    2. More than seven years ago, at the doctor’s office, after asking what would happen if I chose not to do anything about the cancer just discovered in my blood, I was told: “You might have three months to live.”
    3. In the middle of a sleepless night of an early round of chemo, I could not breathe. I was on our sofa downstairs and it was as if some evil presence was smothering me. I was not hallucinating; I really thought I was going to suffocate. I could barely whisper, “Jesus,” and when I did, the presence left and I was able to breathe again. (Do you think I’m crazy?)

    Now of these three experiences, which do you think brought most fear? The answer is #1. Fear of death, fear of evil, fear of the Lord… no comparison.

    We may think, “But if we talk about ‘fearing God’ people will be scared away from Him. Shouldn’t we just talk about His love and kindness?” Paul wrote, “Consider the kindness and severity of God.” Jesus said, “I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will warn you who to fear: fear the One who after He has killed has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!” Why would Jesus, who knew God better than anyone, and who described Him as the Father who ran to forgive and restore the prodigal, tell people to fear Him? Such a question is not difficult to answer; Jesus knew the “fear of the Lord” was “the beginning of knowledge” and “the beginning of wisdom.” He knows God’s “mercy extends to those who fear Him, from generation to generation,” and He knows “the Lord delights in those who fear Him.”

    So where’s the “fear of the Lord” in my generation? Where’s the “fear of the Lord” in my children’s generation? Has a misunderstanding of perfect love made “living in the fear of the Lord” (a description of the early church) incomprehensible? Oswald Chambers wrote: “Beware of the pleasant view of the Fatherhood of God – God is so kind and loving that of course He will forgive us. That sentiment has no place whatever in the New Testament. The only ground on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ…” (from “My Utmost For His Highest” – Nov. 20) The Cross is the place where the humble can receive the unfailing love of God… and the place where we can understand the fear of the Lord. If you saw Mel Gibson’s film, “The Passion,” you were shocked (and perhaps sickened) with the torture Jesus endured… the beating, the humiliation, the crucifixion. If indeed Jesus had to die, why did His death have to be so horrible? Because of sin – your sin, my sin, the sins of the world…

    Sin ruins, destroys, damns, and separates us from the loving Father. No wonder it brings God’s wrath. From Paul’: “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things (sexual immorality, any kind of impurity, greed) God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” God hates sin no less today than when the punishment fell on His innocent Son. Does this not bring fear… and praise? “My sin – O the bliss of this glorious thought: My sin, not in part but whole, is nailed to the Cross and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul.” From Peter: “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.” “But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives…”

    From God: “They shall be My people, and I will be their God; and I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me always, for their own good, and for the good of their children after them. And I will make an everlasting covenant that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; and I will put the fear of Me in their hearts so they will not turn away from Me.” Jeremiah 32:38-40

  • delight

    —

    Dana

    Terry, John, Blake, and baby Leesa went with us to Chattanooga for Thanksgiving. Susan’s family and my family welcome Terry and her kids the same way they welcome us. We had a great holiday.

    Most of the time John, who is 3-1/2 years old, calls me ‘Dana,’ but every now and then he calls me ‘Dad.’ He has quite an imagination and I must be on my toes to enter his ‘games’ at any moment. Not long ago at our house, John said, “Dad, it’s time for me to go to school.” I said, “OK…Bye-bye,” without realizing that I needed to drive him. So we got in the car on our driveway, buckled our seatbelts, and took a five second drive to school. I said, “Goodbye, John. Have a great day!” As John put on his imaginary book bag, he replied, “OK, Dad. You have a great day too!” He then walked to the other side of the driveway and pretended to put down his book bag so he could begin his school work. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do next, but I think I made the right decision. After about thirty seconds (that’s about enough school work for a three year old), I honked my horn. John turned to see me and started running with a big smile on his face. I got out of the car as he yelled, “Dad!” I shouted, “Hey son!” and John threw himself into my arms and gave me a big hug. I helped put his heavy book bag (those teachers give a lot of homework) in the car and we buckled up to drive home. John told me all about his day at school and I told him that I was so proud of him. When we arrived home, I realized that was just one day of the week. We repeated the same scenario at least five times… just long enough for me to learn something very beautiful.

    I’m not sure of all the reasons John enjoyed playing this game, but I know why I did. You see, I delight in John. Our family has delighted in him since he was born. As he was so happy to see his ‘dad’ at the end of the ‘school day,’ I wanted John to know I was even happier to see him. There is beauty in fellowship.

    I’ve probably read this verse fifty times over the past three weeks: “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.” (Psalm 147:11) Next time I want to write about “the fear of the Lord,” for I am concerned it is often absent in our world. But do I “put my hope in his unfailing love”? In John’s game, hope was an expectation. If I didn’t honk the horn at the end of each ‘school day’ I would have failed ‘my son.’ Our hope in the Lord is also an expectation. Waiting on the Lord is not an exercise in futility! God is love and He never fails. This means that in the end I will not be disappointed. Yes, perhaps now I don’t see the end and perhaps there’s a lot I don’t understand, but that’s OK. Bystanders might even say circumstances are hopeless, but by faith the child of God can say, “I am weary, but He is not. He will give me strength. Yes, I will hope in the Lord and He will make me soar on wings like eagles. He delights in me and I trust in Him.”

    “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

  • wait

    —

    Dana

    From Psalm 37: “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…” The doctor added a new drug to the chemo I am taking and it is not much fun. Blurry mind, aching bones, and sleepless nights have become the norm. The word I keep hearing is: “Wait on the Lord.” I talked to a close friend who is not unfamiliar with suffering: “I think I am waiting on the Lord, but what am I waiting for?” My friend’s answer holds a joyful truth: “Waiting on the Lord means… having the Lord, Himself. That is what we all really want.”

    Of course I argue that I really want something else: less pain, a clear mind, a good night’s sleep… But an all-loving Father says, “Taste and see that I am good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Me.” I recently ran across this poem by Russell Kelfer:

    WAIT

    Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
    Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
    I pled and wept for a clue to my fate…
    And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

    “Wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply.
    “Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
    Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
    By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming Your Word.

    “My future and all to which I relate
    Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to ‘Wait?’
    I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign.
    Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.

    “You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
    We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
    Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
    I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

    Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
    As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
    So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
    And grumbled to God, “So I’m waiting… for what?”

    He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
    And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
    I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
    I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

    “I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
    You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
    You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
    You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

    “You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair.
    You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
    You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
    When darkness and silence are all you can see.

    “You’d never experience the fullness of love
    When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
    You would know that I give, and save, for a start,
    But you’d not know the depth of the love of My heart.

    “The glow of My comfort late into the night,
    The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
    The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
    From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

    “You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
    What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
    Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
    But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I’m doing in you.

    “So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
    That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
    And though oft’ My answers seem terribly late,
    My most precious answer of all is still, ‘Wait.’”

    “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Psalm 40:1-2

  • born

    —

    Dana

    It may not be surprising that Jesus said, “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist,” but there’s another half of the sentence that makes one curious: “… yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.”

    We can be sure the truth of this statement has more to do with God than us… though Jesus tells us we do have a part to play: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

    So how does one become greater than John the Baptist? A smart Jewish leader named Nicodemus was quite puzzled when the Rabbi from Nazareth told him the secret involved something beyond being born of a woman. I saw a bumper sticker recently that read: “I WAS BORN OK THE FIRST TIME.” But Jesus taught a different message: “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again… I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of heaven unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but Spirit gives birth to spirit.”

    As Jesus praised John the Baptist, He knew the Father’s plan was to have a Spirit-born family. Each child of God comes to a stark conclusion as the destructive power of sin is realized: “I’m not OK!” And when the Good News of a perfect Savior shedding his blood for our forgiveness draws a soul to God, a child is born. Jesus knew what was to take place shortly after John was beheaded: He would suffer and die for the sins of the world; He would be buried and rise on the third day; He would appear to many before ascending to the right hand of the Father; then, at the appointed time, He would pour out the Holy Spirit to all who put their faith in him. Peter taught those accepting Jesus’ invitation at Pentecost of the wonderful promise of God: “And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off – for all whom the Lord our God will call.” That’s us.

    “Lord, fill us each day with your Spirit! May we walk in the Spirit and may you produce in us the fruit of the Spirit that we may live like Jesus on this earth. Empower us to accomplish what we cannot do in our own strength. Thank you for invading our hearts and writing your laws on our minds. We rejoice in your unending love.”

    “Yet to all who received him (Jesus), to those who believed in his name, He gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” John 1:12-13

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