Category: struggle

Barnabas Mam, one of only two hundred Christians to survive Pol Pot’s reign of terror in Cambodia, escaped the country with his wife and three daughters in 1985 as the Vietnamese occupation created new dangers. After many difficulties, they ended up in a refugee camp just across the Cambodian border in Thailand.

As a teacher and worship leader, Barnabas and a few other Christians began to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ to the 150,000 inhabitants of their refugee camp. Barnabas, his family, and all the believers learned about the values of God’s kingdom in a foreign setting.

“The economy of the kingdom is upside down from any other value system in the world. The weak, the poor, the foolish: these are the most prized possessions in the kingdom. If I wanted to be like Jesus, I would have to go low, not high.”

Fifteen churches were established over the eight years Barnabas lived in the Thai refugee camp. Fifty-three leaders emerged from the Cambodian believers with a passion to spread the Gospel and seek God’s kingdom. Seven goals were set for each church: meaningful fellowship, intimate worship, powerful prayer, cheerful giving, hearty participation, joyful service, and effective evangelism.

During October of 1991 in Paris, France, the UN was given authority to enforce a cease-fire in Cambodia. In March of 1993, Barnabas and his family were permitted to return home. Since then over four hundred churches have been planted by the Christians from the Thai refugee camp. From struggle came growth. From ashes came beauty. From a tiny seed came fruit.

“He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.’ He told them still another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” Matthew 13:31-33

Quote from Church Behind the Wire by Barnabas Mam with Kitti Murray, ©2012, Moody Publishers, p. 267

The death of a child, the death of a parent, the death of a brother or sister or dear friend… how does one press on? The loss of health, the loss of employment, the loss of property… can we continue to trust God… and praise Him?

Peter explains that though we may have had to ‘suffer grief in all kinds of trials,’ we can look forward to certain results. The common thought is that these trials will produce a stronger faith, like gold purified by fire, but this is not what Peter writes in the first chapter of his first letter.

Peter says that as we suffer and persevere our faith is simply proven to be genuine. And this faith is ‘of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire.’ What a statement about the faith of God’s children! So what is the result?

Peter teaches that the genuine faith Kinsey and Jordan witnessed in the missionary couple suffering through the loss of a child in Africa… or the believing friends you and I know who are experiencing painful trials… or brothers and sisters in Christ in other parts of the world who are being persecuted for loving Jesus… will result in praise and honor to our Lord.

“When I return and all see that I am Savior and King, your life, your endurance, your faithfulness and love will bring honor to Me. Though many thought you had every reason to deny Me or blame Me or leave Me, you did just the opposite. In your grief, you still believed. In your lack of understanding, you still trusted. While others accused Me, you honored and loved Me. The praise and glory I receive because of you will be a great surprise. But then again, you will have many wonderful surprises in my Kingdom.”

Look for one more amazing result of faith in the last sentence of the passage below. Happy Easter!

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” I Peter 1:6-9

One morning a few weeks ago, a friend dropped by school to see me.  He said, “I ran across this letter and thought of you, so I brought you a copy.”  The letter was written by his cousin Julie in 2006, who was battling cancer.

Julie died later that year. I remember the courage and faith of a lady who lived a brief but victorious life.

The afternoon of that same day, I learned that the father of Ashley, one of my former students, had been admitted to hospice. About two years ago, Ashley told me her dad had been diagnosed with cancer.  Knowing what her family faced, I did my best to encourage a student the same way others have encouraged my children throughout the years. Five days after being admitted to hospice care, Ashley’s dad passed away.

The family asked me to share some thoughts at the funeral.  As I visited with Ashley, her mom, and her younger brother in their home, I could not help but remember that such sorrowful times are inevitable on this earth. If we are all to face death one day, why do we not constantly keep life’s brevity in mind? That was one thought the family wanted me to share: “Please remind everyone of what is really important.” Julie’s words from her letter written seven years ago seemed appropriate.

You see, no matter what happens, I win! If the Lord graciously heals me with a miracle, I will rejoice and tell of his mighty power to save, giving him the credit! (It is certainly a situation that requires miraculous work.) If the Lord allows the continuation of this disease over the next months ending in death, I still win, because I can confidently say, ‘I love Jesus!’ He will not allow anything to harm me without his all-knowing, all-good direction. Nothing can separate me from him and his love. Nothing else matters, ultimately! What makes Heaven ‘Heaven’ is Jesus!

Now, what about you? Do you love Jesus? Do you love him more than anything or anyone in your life? Don’t wait to decide! This is the most important question you will ever ask yourself. When you have nothing left but Jesus, it is easy to be bold. It is during ‘every day life’ that it is easy to sit back and coast with wasted time and energy on non-valuable things. It is easy to not love and to let those you love and care about continue along a path that leads to destruction and death. I love you all and desire for you to be able to live and die with confidence – not in yourselves, but in the Lord. Jesus saves… and not just for a few years of human life and struggle… He saves forever and completely!

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalms 73:23-26

I have a friend younger than me who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma last Fall. He is finishing up his fourth round of chemotherapy and preparing to go through a stem cell transplant. Though I don’t think King David ever battled cancer, he did face many fierce enemies in his lifetime. His honest songs and prayers give words that my friend (and all of us) can use in dark days.

The enemy is chasing me, crushing my life in the dirt, forcing me to live in the dark like those who’ve been dead forever. My spirit is weak inside me — inside, my mind is numb. (vv 3-4)

It is a terrible feeling when your mind is numb. Trauma, intense anxiety, emotional strain, tragic news, or harsh drugs can bring such a state. What do you do when you can’t think? David knew his hope was not in his mental capacities. He cried out to the Lord and lifted up honest pleas to the One he knew holds all power.

I stretch out my hands to you; my whole being is like dry dirt, thirsting for you. Answer me, Lord — and quickly! My breath is fading. Don’t hide your face from me or I’ll be like those going down to the pit! Make me live again, Lord, for your name’s sake. Bring me out of distress because of your righteousness. (vv 7, 11)

David also teaches us a discipline to practice in hard times. Though the spirit suffers and the mind is cloudy, we can still dig deep and remember God’s faithfulness.

I remember the days long past; I meditate on all your deeds; I contemplate your handiwork. (v 5)

God hears us and answers our heart cry. “Draw close to Me, and I will draw close to you” — these are the words of a perfect Father who can always be trusted.

Tell me all about your faithful love come morning time, because I trust you. Show me the way I should go, because I offer my life up to you. Teach me to do what pleases you, because you are my God. Guide me by your good Spirit into good land. (vv 8, 10)

(All Psalms 143 quotes are from the Common English Bible)

Dr. Sagar Lonial is my doctor at Emory in Atlanta. He is one of the best in the world at fighting multiple myeloma, the blood cancer we’ve been dealing with since 2000.

Several months ago he noticed an increase on a blood test from 17.6 to 22.0. “We’ll need to watch that number,” he said, “it could be a sign that the cancer is active again.”

With eight weeks between tests, the number has increased as follows: 22.0, 31.5, 60.9, 162.9. This week, with just four weeks between tests, the number increased to 313.8. After a 2009 stem cell transplant, it looks like a wonderful season of three and a half drug-free years is coming to a close.

My gambling nature always wants to press the maximum limit before starting chemo, but my arguments cannot defeat those of a good doctor… and an honest wife. Susan and I are at peace with the plan ahead. I will start one drug immediately and then, Lord willing, enter a ‘new drug trial’ after returning from Ecuador at the end of February. We see God’s direction clearly and we know many people will be praying, as so many have throughout the years.

I plan to teach and coach and live life as normal. My main prayer request is for the mind of Christ. He does not worry or doubt, so I should not worry or doubt. He does not fear, so I should take courage. He faced hardship on this earth with eyes on his Father, so I should do the same. I want Susan and the kids and all my brothers and sisters to have the same mindset, not just in this situation, but in all circumstances. We know our hope is the Holy Spirit whom God has placed in our hearts.

So may we all “live in the Spirit” and trust a perfect Father who has given us “everything we need for life and godliness” through his Son, Jesus Christ.

“For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. I Corinthians 2:16