Dana's Christian Journey

musings of a thankful cancer survivor

Author: Dana

  • war

    —

    Dana

    “God’s not doing this! Don’t you know you are at war?!” My friend, a missionary in Africa, was quite adamant. He had commented on the struggles several of us were going through and I had simply replied, “I hope we’re learning the lessons we’re supposed to learn.” This was not meant to be a summarizing statement on pain and suffering, but it started a fire within my friend. He clearly sees “the war” in the mission field and he wanted me to know we are all in it. “Satan hates you. He hates your Message and he hates your life. He does not just hate missionaries, he hates all who are sold out to the Master.”

    I don’t think my friend would argue that we learn much as we go through struggle, but he would say, “That’s not the main point.” Those who have declared that “Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King” have entered a war. Be aware.

    “Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from the Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers…” Why did the one who wrote most of the letters in the New Testament encounter such hardship? Was God against him? Of course not… the Lord had chosen him! “This man is My chosen instrument to carry My Name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for My Name.”

    Jesus was not saying, “This guy has been My enemy, so I’m going to pay him back.” Rather, when He revealed Himself to Saul, He knew everything was going to change. A zealous man, who had been imprisoning Christians, was about to fall in love with Christ. A subject to the kingdom of darkness was about to enter the kingdom of light. A man who had been confused was about to see clearly. And Jesus knew that the same enemy who opposed Him would oppose Paul. Paul was entering a war… in which he would suffer and eventually die. But in the journey, he would find abundant life and true hope. Be encouraged by his words.

    “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearing.” II Timothy 4:6-8

    “Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time – God the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.” I Timothy 6:12-16

    “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Ephesians 1:18-19

  • anticipation

    —

    Dana

    Of the seven books of the Chronicles of Narnia, THE LAST BATTLE is my favorite. Deception… confusion… recognition of the enemy… the last battle… the coming of the King… the end of things as we know it…and the beginning of “the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

    I’ve been deceived many times. I’ve been confused. I’ve been in a few battles. How I long to see the King! He says “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” We can’t even imagine how grand it will be!

    Anticipation….. “I can’t wait til I turn 16!” “I can’t wait til I graduate!” “I can’t wait til our baby arrives!” “I can’t wait til my kids graduate!”… The Holy Spirit produces a deeper longing: “Look forward to the Day!” “Anticipate His coming!” Jesus says, “Watch!”

    Of course, the enemy wants to rob us of this anticipation that brings joy and helps us persevere. The great attack against the cancer patient is hopelessness. Lengthy illness creates despair. When you can’t remember what it was like being healthy, it is hard to anticipate getting better. Whenever “the last battle” comes, I expect such confusion will be at work. The devil will want things so dark that believers forget to anticipate their hope. “Listen, I tell you a mystery: we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed – in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.” Or as Aslan told the children as He welcomed them to His country: “The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream has ended: this is the morning.”

    “Therefore my brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” see I Corinthians 15:50-58

    “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.” Titus 2:11-14

  • broken

    —

    Dana

    South African author, Alan Paton, wrote a powerful novel that was first published in 1948. CRY,THE BELOVED COUNTRY is the story of a father’s search for his only son, who had left the rural African hills to pursue life in the dangerous city of Johannesburg. The boy’s name was Absalom, reminding us of another son who had departed from his father long ago. How David longed for things to be right with this handsome young man, but it would not be. A father’s broken heart cried out when news came of a violent death. “Absalom, O Absalom. Would it were I who died in your place!”

    Last week I stood next to another grieving father whose son lay in a rose covered casket. This father was my uncle and his son was my cousin, Paul, who took his own life. A broken world produces such tragedy and we ask “why?”

    There is another Father who weeps. He wept when a son and daughter first brought sin into the world and He weeps today. It is not God’s will that men destroy one another. It was not God’s will that my cousin destroy himself. In a dark world, Paul must have felt there was nowhere to go. The voices around him shut out the Voice of the One who constantly says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” This One’s love went further than the cry of King David… He did die in our place.

    I have few words to comfort my hurting family, but I do sense the broken heart of a Father… and I cry.

    “As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, ‘If you, even you had only known on this day what would bring you peace – but now it is hidden from your eyes.’” Luke 19:41-42

    “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Malachi 4:5-6

  • everywhere

    —

    Dana

    “Everywhere I go I see You”, Rich Mullins sang. Sometimes we feel that way… God is everywhere we look. We understand Jesus’ meaning of “abundant life”. “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light…”(Ex 13:21) Everywhere they went they saw Him… but then came Pharaoh and hundreds of chariots. “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?” the Israelites cried.(Ex 14:11)

    Could they not see Him? Was He there? Did the assault of the enemy take away the presence of God? Could God be trusted through the chaos? Is faith possible in darkness?

    We know the story. The Israelites were delivered through the Red Sea on dry land. The enemy was destroyed. The Lord triumphed in glorious power. Worship, singing, and dancing erupted among the people of God. “Who among the gods is like you, O Lord? Who is like you – majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? You stretched out your right hand and the earth swallowed them.”(Ex 15:11-12)

    How easy it is to believe when the victory is won! “Everywhere I go I see You! I will worship You, Lord! You are my God!” But what will I do when the enemy is all around? What if I see no sign of the Lord? What if I’ve had no water for three days? What if my daily bread is getting monotonous? Will I grumble? Will I complain? Will I test Him saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?”(Ex 17:7)

    Jesus warns about darkness. He also gives hope. “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may become sons of light.”(Jn 12:35-36) “When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.”(Jn 14:44-46)

    I learned yesterday that my cousin committed suicide. Darkness seems to be closing all around my family. Pray that we may know, even now, that God is everywhere.

  • renew

    —

    Dana

    Though taught well all my life of God and His Son, I was close to thirty years old when the truth of the cross penetrated my heart with its power. “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.”(John 12:32) He has drawn all men! The sin of every man hung with Jesus on the cross. The Lamb of God was sacrificed for us all. “He died for all mankind” can keep guilt at a distance, but “my sin put Him there” brings personal grief. Who does not want to repent when such realization comes? When we see the love of the Father and Son, we have little desire to continue in sin and rebellion, but my problem was that the power of sin was greater than my power to resist. Out of my own strength, I had no success. The harder I tried to follow God’s ways, the worse I seemed to be. But another truth of the cross set me free: “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.”(Romans 6:6-7)

    To believe what God has done through Christ brings new life. The old is gone; the new has come. We are not the same. But a journey lies before all God’s children and great is the temptation to put things out of order. Few talk of idols these days, but they still exist. The most loved apostle’s last words in I John give a warning to all: “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.” A God who gives us choice, patiently asks, “Will you put all else aside and seek Me only?” When we answer, “Yes, Lord” another renewal comes. Stepping out of the boat… launching into the deep… walking by faith…freedom in Christ… life in the Spirit… friendship with Jesus… relationship with the Father… fellowship in the Body… such are the experiences and blessings of God’s children.

    We know God desires to change us into the image of His Son, so I was a bit intrigued in April of 2000 when a visiting minister from India shared a strange message over the phone with Susan while I was out of town. “I had a dream about your husband last night. I believe God was saying that in four months Dana will be a changed man.” Four months later, the doctor uttered words that change any man or woman: “You have cancer.” Again I thank so many of you who prayed for me and served my family during difficult times. And I thank God who has given me health and precious time. I know I have learned much, but at the close of a year, I confess I am in need. The boldness I had when I was weak has faded a bit. The urgency of “God’s priorities”, knowing time is short, has lessened. The “fire” stirred up in the place of danger has cooled. Clarity has become a little hazy. Of all people, I have no excuse to be passionless or fearful or lukewarm or smothered by a world that tends to lull us to sleep.

    So, what is my need? Not sickness, I pray. Not a re-doubling of effort. Not a pep talk from friends. I need the Mighty One who died on the cross and rose in victory to show me the way. He found me when I was lost. He humbled me when I was proud. He freed me when I was bound. He raised me when I was sick. He taught me when I was weak. He is what I need this year. I want Him to teach me to love as He does. I want Him to teach me to pray with confidence and faith. I want Him to show me how to stand in His holy armor against all the strategies of the evil one. I want Him to show me how to live day by day as a husband and a father and a teacher and a neighbor. I want Him to keep the cross ever before me and the world far behind me so that, in some way, I might bring Him glory. I want His zeal, His boldness, His wisdom, His compassion, His heart, and His Spirit. “Renew me, O Lord.”

    “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

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