Dana's Christian Journey

musings of a thankful cancer survivor

Author: Dana

  • Geneva

    —

    Dana

    I asked our guest to share a few thoughts. Here are her unedited words. (You’ll notice, she’s a better writer than I am…)

    Greetings,

    My name is Geneva Simpson and my son Israel and I are homeless. But please save your pity, all Christians share my plight. This life is merely a rest stop; the Kingdom of Heaven is our only true home. Jesus didn’t have a worldly dwelling place and as His followers we’re ‘urban campers’ also… but who in their right mind would leave the stability of home and family to wander the earth homeless in pursuit of an unseen force?

    “When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Mat 8:19-20)

    It has been five years since I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  Once upon a time, I was a Muslim employed as an administrative assistant for a college president. A co-worker shared a few scriptures with me and extended an invitation to a ‘come as you are’ worship service. I only agreed to go to silence her persistent pleas, but secretly I loathed Christians and had no real intentions of ever stepping foot inside the woman’s church. I knew my soul was malnourished; I hungered for something but couldn’t determine what it was. Yet, I still stubbornly refused the spiritual food my friend offered me.

    Unbeknownst to me, at the time, my benefactor prayed the Lord would pierce my hardened heart. We met for lunch one afternoon and she delivered the painful prognosis very bluntly. The unrepentant sinner, that I was, faced an eternity in hell without salvation. Sadly, I would not partake of the Lord’s bounty in the hereafter. Then this mighty woman of God openly prayed for me, without trepidation, in a crowded Chinese restaurant! I knew, at that moment, my life would never be the same…

    Several months after my baptism, I converted my pastor’s more weighty sermons to a few reader-friendly newsletters. ‘Scribed in the Spirit’ was well received; consequently, there was talk I might become editor of a larger publication. I truly felt blessed; what higher honor is there than to use ones spiritual gifts to glorify the Body of Christ. I was convinced I’d stumbled upon my true purpose. My entire being became enmeshed in evangelical literature and the 9-5 got less and less. It was clear, at least to me, I could no longer serve two masters. I quit my job confident the church would support me. I couldn’t have been more wrong; there was no safety net beneath me, and I fell hard. I was scorned and criticized for leaving a very good job and in such a poor economy, no less. Unsympathetic friends and family rebuked me and watched on as my life unraveled at the seams…

    I have truly embarked upon the road less traveled. When you’re out on a limb, with no earthly means of support, one must depend on the Lord for basic survival. God is so real to me. I can not honor Him with soulless worship and whiny ‘why me’ prayers. Both my life and my son’s well being hang in the balance. Naturally, having a child out of wedlock has raised the stakes considerably, but my faith must see us through this season of transition.

    Right before my son and I crossed paths with Dana and Susan, I received the word – Lord increase our faith. (Luke 17:5) I stayed up all night praying – I’d maxed out two credit cards at extended stay hotels. I only had enough for one more night in a substandard motel and didn’t know where we’d end up after that.  Israel slept soundly in blissful ignorance as I lay crumpled on the floor in utter torment. “Where will we go Lord?” I cried out. I can almost feel Christ’s anguish during his prayer vigil the night before His arrest. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

    Truly the Spirit can and will endure anything – oh – but the flesh…

    Only a tortured and crucified Savior can understand the soul-gut wrenching agony I’ve experienced along this long and lonely faith walk. But the joy – the peace is indescribable. I can only say the moment Dana loaded us and all our earthly possessions (a white knapsack and my laptop) in his car that glorious day, a sublime calm enveloped me. The Lord said He would never leave my side and I believed Him…

    To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it, when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. (1 Cor. 4:11-13)

  • theories

    —

    Dana

    I have a theory about the way God answers our frequent appeals to be molded into the image of Jesus. The conversation goes something like this:

    God: “So you really want to become like my Son?”
     Me: “Yes, Lord, you know I do.”
     Lord: “You know the Scripture says that although he was a Son, Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered.”
     Me: “Yes, but I’ve always had a hard time understanding that verse. I thought Jesus was perfect.”
     Lord: “He was perfect… and he was made perfect. (see Heb 5:7-10) You are declared righteous by His completed work and if you’re going to be like Him, you must walk as He did… in reverent submission. You were saved by grace through your faith in Jesus and you are called to live by faith… obeying my Word to you… and depending on my grace.”
     Me: “Yes sir.” (Isn’t it great that the God of all Creation is willing to talk so plainly to His children?!)

    Over quite a few days, His implied instruction from Matthew 25 was simple: “When I was a stranger, you invited Me in… whatever you did for the least of these my brethren, you did for Me.” Recently, a fellow teacher and I ran across a young lady and her two-year-old boy as we were leaving chapel. If it had been on the way to chapel, I would have had a good excuse to keep walking since I was on my way to an important duty. But this was after chapel, and the excuse of rushing to lunch probably does not impress God quite as much as going to worship. My friend, who had entered into a caring inquiry, had a class, so I hesitantly agreed to help the lady. She had been given some numbers of ministries in our county that serve the needs of the poor, but every call I made was in vain. “No room at the inn,” was getting old. As it was getting dangerously close to the end of my lunch hour, I was trying to figure out what to do. The lady was very humble and I couldn’t find any reason to blame her for her circumstance. Even if she could be blamed, a cute little boy sat in a stroller with big eyes. I asked her the boy’s name and when she replied, “Israel,” I thought, “Oh, brother.”

    It is in such times that the voice of the Lord becomes intrusive… making me wonder whether we really want to hear God’s voice or not. For though He constantly tells us He loves us, He also says, “Those who love Me, obey Me.”

    Lord: “Are you going to take care of the stranger or not?”
    Me: “Well… what do you want me to do?”
    Lord: “What do you think I want you to do? I’ve given you a house, haven’t I? I’ve given you food, haven’t I? I’ve loved you and saved you, haven’t I? You’ve said you wanted to be like Jesus… so show her love… not with empty words, but with action.”

    My wife, Susan, is a lot more moldable than I am, so when I called and told her the situation, she quickly said she would come pick them up. So for a little over three weeks, Geneva and Israel have lived with us. Her story is one she needs to tell one day (maybe I’ll get her to write the next journey), but for now, we are all receiving God’s blessing. She has a place to stay and we have a little bigger family. Brothers and sisters in Christ have extended love and fellowship. Of course, three-year-old John, who towers over the two-year-old of a different color, has been the best neighbor. He calls him “little brother” (I’m not sure he can pronounce ‘Israel’).

    And I’ve reached another theory: Even when I obey… it is by God’s grace and not by my own goodness. He is even in charge of the opportunities… How I need Jesus.

    “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, ‘He who is coming will come and not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.’ But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.” Hebrews 10:35-39

    “Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Hebrews 13:1-3

  • update

    —

    Dana

    My least favorite topic to write about is my health, but several have asked what is going on, so I guess it is good to share every now and then. This also gives me a chance to sneak in some prayer requests, knowing the prayers of the righteous make a big difference. At Thanksgiving I revolted and escaped the doctor’s office without receiving chemotherapy. The nurse told me I couldn’t do such a thing, but I thought I was a little faster than she was, so I bolted. I’ve never scored a touchdown in a Super Bowl, but there couldn’t be much better a feeling than sprinting untouched through the doctor’s office, across the parking lot, and into my 1984 Nissan Maxima… drug-free. (Actually, I didn’t sprint… I just walked briskly… there are a lot of frail people in a cancer center.)

    When I had to meet with my doctor again, I felt a bit like a kid in the principal’s office. In a gentle way, he said, “We’ve been battling this disease over seven years now, so you know you can be honest with me and I know I can be honest with you.” I told him I had been on the same chemo sixteen straight months just to keep the cancer stable. I told him my body was feeling it and that Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday and I just wanted to be chemo-free. I was hoping he would expel me from Suburban Hematology, but he said he understood. (Compassionate doctors can be annoying sometimes…) He suggested we take some time off and let my body recover a bit. During the first month the bad protein only rose from 1.7 to 1.9. (At my diagnosis in 2000, this protein count was the highest at 6.3… a healthy person’s count is zero.) This past month, the number rose from 1.9 to 2.6 (a big increase). I also started feeling the familiar pain creep back into my bones. Believe it or not, this pain can make a man beg for chemo in hope of some relief. I wasn’t quite begging yet, but I knew my time of running from the doctors was over. (I heard this week that Roy Scheider, of ‘Jaws’ fame, just died of multiple myeloma, reminding me that this cancer is not very friendly.)

    Last Friday I started a new chemotherapy. It is one I have not yet had and I guess it is the last ‘big gun’ the doctors know about. It always takes me a while to figure out the side effects, so if you don’t mind, please pray they are minimal. Please also pray the 21-day treatment is effective (I won’t find out results for a month). I’m already picking up a cold, I’m afraid, so please pray I can avoid these sicknesses while my white blood counts are low. Susan and I and eighteen others have airline tickets for a mission trip to Namibia at the end of March, so please also pray that I am able to go to Africa. (I promise not to run away and hide in the desert…) Our family knows the importance of prayer in the journey. We’re all sojourners in need of people praying for us along the way. Thanks for receiving these requests.

    Love,
    Dana

    “I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings…” Psalm 17:6-8

  • John

    —

    Dana

    Interviewer: Hello, John. We know you are part of the great cloud of witnesses cheering us on from Heaven. Is there anything you would like to say to Christians today?

    John: You are wise to listen to the teachings of the apostles today. I was just a fisherman, you know, when Jesus called me. I did not have wealth or a privileged education, but when Jesus said, ‘Come, follow me,’ I could not resist. Like you, I was a sinner, but Jesus changed me. I had a reputation that earned the nickname, ‘son of thunder,’ but I became known as the ‘the apostle of love.’

    Jesus is the Light of the World, the Bread of Life, the Vine, the Gate, the Good Shepherd, and the best Friend a person can have. You are a branch that must remain in the Vine. You are a sheep that must listen to the Shepherd’s voice. There are many voices in the world that are not of Christ… do not heed them. “My sheep listen to my voice,” Jesus taught. Are you listening? He says, “Abide in me and I will abide in you.” Are you abiding in him? Are you living for the One who laid down his life for you?

    I walked with him and knew him on earth, but you can know him by the Holy Spirit who was sent after Jesus ascended to the right hand of the Father. He instructed us, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” The Holy Spirit is your Counselor and Guide. He will point you to Jesus and remind you of the things Jesus taught. He will give you power to be a witness in your generation. The Holy Spirit will also put a yearning in your heart to see your Savior. You know that when he appears you will be like him, for you shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope purifies himself, just as he is pure. I now see him face to face, but on earth I constantly longed to see Jesus. You might say, ‘That was because you walked with him for three years and he called you a dear friend.’ But he calls all who love and follow him dear friends. You know you are in the last hour so be sure to walk in fellowship with your Master. Walk in the light as he is in the light and the blood of Jesus purifies you from all sin.

    Some have said my first letter is a little confusing, but if you ask the Holy Spirit for understanding, he will give you insight. God wants his children to have confidence that they have eternal life through the Son. But God also wants all men to look honestly at themselves and live in truth. If a person claims to have to have fellowship with him yet walks in the darkness, he lies and does not live by the truth. Those that claim to live in him must walk as Jesus did. If a person says, ‘I know him,’ yet does not do what he commands, he is a liar and the truth is not in him. This may sound blunt and harsh, but God wants each person to deal with truth. You know Jesus’ greatest command is to love one another. If a person says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

    I could say so much more, but I’ll close with a warning and a praise. The warning: Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. The praise: How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God! And that is what we are! Hallelujah!

  • Paul

    —

    Dana

    Interviewer: Hello, Paul. We know you are part of the great cloud of witnesses cheering us on from Heaven. Do you have anything you would want to share with Christians today?

    Paul: The letters I wrote to encourage and instruct believers were also meant for you. You have read them, haven’t you?

    Interviewer: Yes… well, what do you think was your most important writing?

    Paul: My letter to the Romans reveals the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. Just like you, I was saved by grace, not by any works of my own. Jesus accomplished everything and when we receive him by faith, we receive his righteousness… a gift we do not deserve. I was the chief of sinners… religious and zealous, yet lost… until Jesus rescued me. Once we experience such mercy, what can we do but humbly follow our Master? He gives us life and peace through the Holy Spirit so we can love and serve our fellow man.

    Interviewer: What warnings would you give today?

    Paul: You’ll find many warnings in my writings, but I’ll remind you of two. The first is explained in my letter to the Galations as I fiercely declared there is only one true gospel. Many false gospels sprang up in my days on earth and there are no less in yours. You must recognize the true from the false and daily choose to live in truth. Some wonder what I meant when I said, ‘It is for freedom that Christ set you free.’ God wants you to experience true freedom in the Son, a freedom that leads to this testimony: ‘I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.’ Beware of any philosophy that does not teach you to live by faith in the Son of God.

    My second warning should remind you of some of our Master’s parables. Understand the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because your salvation is nearer now than when you first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ‘Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ Be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

    Interviewer: Is there prayer in Heaven? Are you praying for us?

    Paul: Of course there is prayer in Heaven! Jesus intercedes for you! If you could hear him you would know how much he cares for you. I pray for my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel. I pray that they may be saved. I also pray for you. I keep asking our glorious Father to give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for all who believe. I pray that out of these glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

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