Dana's Christian Journey

musings of a thankful cancer survivor

Author: Dana

  • create

    Many, many years ago a man of God, who once had been a simple shepherd who loved to sing and write music, penned these words: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.”

    Around twenty-five years ago, another man of God, who once had been a simple hippie who loved to sing and write music, put David’s words to a different tune. Listeners sensed deep passion in Keith Green’s voice as he prayed for God to bring about what no man can do. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence, O Lord, take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and renew a right spirit within me.”

    A couple of Sundays ago, in a church in a squatter camp in Windhoek, Namibia, five African worship leaders sang the words of Psalm 51 to Keith Green’s melody. It was beautiful music, but as we all joined in worship, I knew the prayer was the need of my heart. Who but God can melt a heart of stone? Who but God can renew the spirit within? Who but God can create something fresh? And who but God can give His Holy Spirit?

    Thanks for your prayers for our trip. I seemed to gain strength each day and the last seven days, I would say I was 100%. I think sometimes I should just move to another country, but the truth is that God supplies His children with exactly what they need no matter where they are. And, somehow, He lets our prayers be a part of His mysterious work.

    “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.” Psalm 84:1-2

  • trip

    I won’t be able to write for quite a while as Susan and I are to leave for Africa Sunday. We cherish your prayers as we take a group from school to work with missionaries serving children in Namibia. Some think you deserve accolades for going on mission trips… I’m not so sure. Those who offer their lives for the cause of Christ receive God’s encouragement no matter where they are. Our relationship with Him is what is most important.

    Jesus gave blunt warnings for those who said they represented God, but lacked humility… and a relationship with the Father: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice the son of hell as you are.” Matthew 23:13-15

    How does one avoid such rebukes? Jesus first says, “You’ve got to come to Me.” We would rather go on an adventure… or do something heroic. But Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” It takes humility to come to Jesus.

    He does not hesitate to ask piercing questions to those who say they are serious. “Are you finished with sin? You know what is right and wrong… are you determined to quit the things that are wrong? I’ll give you grace, but you must make a decision to turn from sin. Unless you repent, you can’t follow Me.”

    “Lord, I don’t want to sin. I know my sin put you on the Cross. I know you have saved me. I want to be in your will.”

    “Okay, if you want to be complete, put the thing most dear to your heart on the altar and give up control. Offer Me your body, your reputation, your possessions, everything you treasure and everything you are. Whatever I tell you to do, obey. Trust Me completely and follow in My footsteps.”

    In the end, those who say ‘yes’ to Jesus’ most challenging words never regret it.

    “Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your act of spiritual worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

  • grace, truth, hope

    Sunday, we visited our friend Jim at The Church of the Lepers. The opening prayer went something like this: “Thank you, Lord, that none of us is in jail this morning. Thank you that none of us is on the street. Thank you that none of us is in a hospital awaiting surgery this morning. Thank you that we have a roof over our head and a meal to eat after we worship. Thank you for caring about us. Amen.” You wouldn’t think such a prayer would bring tears, but as I glanced around the room more than one grown man was crying. Jim has been on and off the street the ten years I’ve known him. He’s been in and out of jail, he’s been on and off crack cocaine, but he’s never been out of sight of the God who created him.

    I have a good friend who gets to share the Lord in a local prison on a regular basis. He often tells me that such a meeting is the highlight of his week as he teaches God’s Word and worships with men who truly are grateful to be alive and who are hungry to hear of the One who came to rescue sinners.

    We’re all in need of two things God offers: grace and truth. The lost need grace and truth; the saved need grace and truth. This week, as Good Friday approaches and Resurrection is anticipated, we all celebrate the One who was full of grace and truth. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling with us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth… From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made him known.” (John 1:14-18)

    We dare not reject the Father’s grace… or cheapen it. We dare not reject the Father’s truth… for the truth sets us free. When their Rabbi was crucified, the disciples lost all hope. Was he not Messiah? How could he have died on the tree? Their new understandings of grace were shattered and what they thought to be the truth was undone. This is why the original Easter is the greatest day in history. God proved grace was not a dream and truth was really truth. The Resurrection established hope and we all live in hope today. Happy Easter!

    “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms…” Ephesians 1:18-20

    “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:22-25

    “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:5

  • cup

    An incredible gift from a generous friend upon her graduation from high school allowed our oldest daughter, Kinsey, to take one person on a trip. For a while I thought I would be the person, but somehow Kinsey’s brother displaced her dad. I was not too heartbroken, happy that my kids love each other enough to want to hang out together. They chose to backpack on their spring break through Italy and fly home from Paris. Through quite a few adventures, brother and sister made it home this past Saturday. (Mom and Dad are still praising God!) As we got word they arrived in Italy last Sunday in time for church in St. Peter’s Square, I thought of Henri Nouwen’s book entitled, “CLOWNING IN ROME.”

    My friend Joe recently discovered another book by Henri Nouwen entitled, “CAN YOU DRINK THE CUP?” This priest, a native of Holland who taught at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard before spending the remainder of his life serving mentally handicapped adults at L’Arche Daybreak Community in Toronto, Canada, had the most incredible way of sharing profound truths in simple ways. He taught that the secret to ‘rejoicing in the Lord’ is the recognition that God has given each of us a cup to drink. He divided this small book into three parts: holding the cup, lifting the cup, and drinking the cup. He completed this writing in February of 1996, 8 months before his death. Here’s a taste of Nouwen’s wisdom and the familiar story of our Savior and two of his eager followers:

    It is important to be very specific when we deal with the question: ‘How do we drink our cup?’ We need some very concrete disciplines to help us fully appropriate and internalize our joys and sorrows and find in them our unique way to spiritual freedom. I would like to explore how three disciplines – the discipline of silence, the discipline of the word, and the discipline of action can help us drink the cup of salvation. The first way to drink our cup is in silence.

    This might come as a surprise, since being silent seems like doing nothing, but it is precisely in silence that we confront our true selves. The sorrows of our life often overwhelm us to such a degree that we will do everything not to face them. Radio, television, newspapers, books, films, but also hard work and busy social life can be ways to run away from ourselves and turn life into a long entertainment.

    The word ‘entertainment’ is important here. It means literally ‘to keep (‘tain’ from the Latin ‘tenere’) someone in between (‘enter’).’ Entertainment is everything that gets and keeps our mind away from things that are hard to face. Entertainment keeps us distracted, excited, or in suspense. Entertainment is often good for us. It gives us an evening or a day off from our worries or fears. But when we start living life as entertainment, we lose touch with our souls and become little more than spectators in a lifelong show. Even very useful and relevant work can become a way of forgetting who we really are. Silence is the discipline that helps us go beyond the entertainment quality of our lives. There we can let our sorrows and joys emerge from their hidden places and look us in the face, saying: ‘Don’t be afraid; you can look at your own journey, its dark and light sides, and discover your way to freedom.’ At first the silence might only frighten us. In silence we start hearing the voices of darkness: our jealousy and anger, our resentment and desire for revenge, our lust and greed, and our pain over losses, abuses, and rejections. These voices are often noisy and boisterous. They may even deafen us. Our most spontaneous reaction is to run away from them and return to our entertainment. But if we have discipline to stay put and not let these dark voices intimidate us, they will gradually lose their strength and recede into the background, creating space for the softer gentler voices of the light. These voices speak of peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, joy, hope, forgiveness, and, most of all, love. They might at first seem small and insignificant, and we may have a hard time trusting them. However, they are very persistent and they will grow stronger if we keep listening. They come from a very deep place and from very far. They have been speaking to us since before we were born, and they reveal to us that there is no darkness in the One who sent us into the world, only light. They are part of God’s voice calling us from eternity: ‘My beloved child, my favorite one, my joy.’

    The enormous powers of our world keep drowning out these gentle voices. Still they are the voices of truth. (From: “CAN YOU DRINK THE CUP? pp 93-96)

    “Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. ‘Teacher,’ they said, ‘we want you to do for us whatever we ask.’ ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ he asked. They replied, ‘Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You don’t know what you are asking,’ Jesus said. ‘Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?’ ‘We can,’ they answered. Jesus said, ‘You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.’” (Mark 10:35-40)

  • neighbors

    A dozen of us gathered at my next door neighbor’s home last Thursday evening, the night before Dave was to have surgery for prostrate cancer. Ann, a nurse at Emory who shines out Jesus’ love and mercy everywhere she goes, opened a Bible and said she wanted to read something before we all prayed. The Spirit of God was in the room as these familiar words were read: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Phil 4:4-8)

    The blood report last week revealed this new chemo I’ve been taking is effective. Thanks for your prayers! It is easy to rejoice when you get a good report, but what about before you know the outcome of the surgery? How do you deal with all the unknowns without being anxious? How do you keep your mind on noble things while your world seems to be in chaos? You can’t… unless the Lord is near. The blessing of peace in a room of neighbors was not a result of good friendships, or an excellent nurse, or people who have experienced other trials… the peace was from God. To mention the word ‘rejoice’ in hard circumstances makes no sense to the world, but if the Lord is near, the child of God is living beyond this world.

    I have another neighbor who’s been fighting leukemia for three years. He’s nineteen years old and a hero of mine. My son loves to fish with him, he’s an incredible tennis player, and he’s gotten more bad reports lately than good. Last month, no one knew whether David would live through a tough weekend. His mom sent out an e-mail that ran chills down every parent’s spine. “We’ve talked a lot about Heaven,” she wrote. Experiencing every emotion you can imagine, a godly mother helped her son think about pure, lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy things. I saw her Sunday and she bravely smiled with tear-filled eyes as she shared the current struggle. David’s dad told me a few days ago that as hard as this trial has been on everyone, he understands a little more of what God did for us as His Son suffered on our behalf. This family may not feel it sometimes, but God is near. David is an overcomer… his gentleness is evident to all.

    I hate cancer. I often hate the fact that painful things hit us on this earth with no understandable explanation. But I’m going to tell everyone there is still joy in the Lord. I’m going to say that when God is near, all things are possible. I’m going to tell everyone that God is love. I’m going to ask the Father to help us keep our eyes on the Good Shepherd as we listen to His gentle voice. Please pray for my neighbors.

    “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

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