Category: stories

The last time I was at the doctor, I asked the nurses if they had ever seen a patient who could predict his blood counts before any blood was drawn. They smiled and said, “There has only been one.” I learned he had the same cancer I have, so I set a goal: “I want to be just like that guy!”

Yesterday as I rode the elevator to the second floor of the building, I predicted in my mind what my counts would be. I figure if I get real good at this I can avoid quite a few sticks in the arm. As I sat in the chair watching my nurse Gwen prepare the needle, another nurse remarked, “There he is.” Gwen looked out the window and said, “Everybody better hide their pens! The ‘courier thief’ is in the parking lot.” Not being able to see out the window, I was a little confused. They explained that a certain courier often comes into their office to pick up or drop off items. Over the years, I’ve noticed many young men making these runs, but this courier, I learned, has a bad habit. Almost every time he comes to their place he steals pens. “He’s even gone into offices to steal pens,” one nurse said. Gwen shared that one time they set a trap for him, leaving a pen on the front desk, confident he would steal it. As he prepared to leave, the receptionist asked if he had picked up a pen. After several denials, he finally searched his pockets and found that he had “accidentally ” taken it.

This was an interesting story, but as my blood was drawn, I told these nurses of my goal to be able to predict my blood counts. “Oh Dana, there’s only one man that can do that. We call him our ‘genius patient.’ He is so smart he gets it right every time. He is a fascinating man.” I asked how old he was and learned that he is quite a bit older than I am. Gwen added, “I think he’s supposed to come in sometime this week.”

In my predictions, I missed my red blood count by two tenths of a point and my platelet count by five thousand. This was really pretty close, but I know I am far from the standard of the ‘genius patient.’ As I got up to move to the chemo room, one of the nurses waved to get my attention. An older gentleman had just entered the area and the nurse mouthed the words, “That’s him!” I was so excited. What a coincidence! I was going to get to meet the one and only man who can predict his blood counts – my new hero.

I had to weigh before leaving the room and, to my great disappointment, after I stepped off the scales I turned to see that the man had disappeared. I rushed out of the room to see him exit the doctor’s office. Not wanting to lose my chance to talk to him, I ran out of the office and saw him standing by himself next to the elevator. “Did you know there’s someone who wants to be just like you?!” I asked. The man, a little caught off guard, answered, “Who’s that?” With a big smile on my face, I said, “It’s me! I have the same disease you have and I want to be able to predict things the way you do. I’ve heard a lot about you from the nurses.” The man just kind of looked at me and said, “Well… you just never know.” Realizing we weren’t going to have a long conversation, I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. He shook my hand and I returned to the office.

As I walked by the nurses’ station to go to the chemo room, both nurses yelled, “Dana, where did you go?” I proudly replied, “I went to meet your ‘genius patient’!” Gwen said, “That wasn’t the ‘genius patient’! That was the ‘courier thief’!”

I wonder what nickname they have for me…

“Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.” Proverbs 6:30-31

“God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you, Lord Jesus.”

Words such as these written by Jim Elliott in 1948 caught my attention many years ago, as did lyrics such as these from Keith Green: “To obey is better than sacrifice. I want more than Sundays and Wednesday nights. ‘Cause if you can’t come to me every day, then don’t bother coming at all…”

Both these men died at the age of 28, but their message rings on today. Though I am sure they were imperfect, the voice of Jesus is heard in their writings and songs.

Bless me Lord, bless me Lord, you know that’s all I ever hear.
No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear.
But He cries, He weeps, He pleads, and He cares for your needs,
And you just lay back and keep soaking it in…

Open up, open up, give yourself away
You see the need, you hear the cries, so how can you delay?…

The world is sleeping in the dark but the Church just can’t fight ’cause its asleep in the Light.
How can you be so dead when you’ve been so well fed?
Jesus rose from the dead and you can’t even get out of your bed!…

I remember being with a mission group in the Czech Republic one spring. Someone shared the need one evening to pray for the lost young people of that nation and ours. I prayed God would let me feel His heart and all of a sudden a dam inside me broke. Tears flowed and emotions were felt that I know were not my own. What does one conclude after such an experience? Is God’s heart really broken over the fact that people don’t know Him? I remember being shaken. But who wants to face the pain and horror of a lost world? Who wants to deal with reality? Who wants to empty himself as Christ did and become nothing?

And so, I’m afraid I’ve learned to compromise. I think I hold back. There was a time I thought this would never be possible. I wondered how a sold-out believer like Keith Green could write these lyrics:

My eyes are dry, my faith is old,
My heart is hard, my prayers are cold.
And I know how I ought to be –
Alive to You and dead to me…

But a person can find himself in this state. He thinks, “Is this all there is? Am I to be content with lukewarmness?” God forbid… but what’s the answer?

Another honest song:

Lord, the feelings are not the same. I guess I’m older, I guess I’ve changed.
And how I wish it had been explained that as you’re growing you must remember –
That nothing lasts except the grace of God by which I stand.
Jesus, I know that I would surely fall away… except for grace by which I’m saved.

God’s grace does not excuse the lukewarm heart. The Voice of Truth says, “Come to Me and get gold refined in the fire and white clothes to wear and salve to put on your eyes so you can see.” The grace of God says, “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” My part is to say, “Yes, Lord. I will hold nothing back. If knowing You means I cry night and day for the souls of the lost, then so be it. If knowing You means I look like a fool to everyone else, then so be it. If knowing You means a shorter time on this earth, then so be it. All I want is You.”

Keith Green, who died in a plane crash in 1982, sang the answer to dry eyes and cold prayers:

What can be done for an old heart like mine?
Soften it up with Oil and Wine.
The Oil is You – Your Spirit of Love.
Please wash me anew in the Wine of Your Blood.

Jim Elliott, killed in Ecuador in 1956 as He carried the Message of His Master, prayed boldly for the fire of God: “Am I ignitable? God deliver me from the dread asbestos of ‘other things.’ Saturate me with the oil of the Spirit that I may be aflame. But flame is transient, often short-lived. Canst thou bear this, my soul – short life? In me there dwells the Spirit of the Great Short-Lived, whose zeal for God’s house consumed Him. And He has promised baptism with the Spirit and with Fire. ‘Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.’”

Amen.

Methinks sometimes when I write something God says, “OK, now live it out.” (It is easier just to write it 🙂 ) So, I’m in the midst of persevering, hoping we can get enough stem cells for a future transplant (if needed). The normal procedure did not work this past week as we only got a tenth of what is required. So this next week we are trying an experimental drug discovered in AIDS research that tends to bring more stem cells out of the bone morrow into the blood stream. This means another weekend of shots, more tests, and a brief hospitalization Tuesday and Wednesday. Perseverance… 🙂

So I thought I would change topics and write a little about healing… Five years ago, I firmly expected God to miraculously heal me of cancer. I know He really did, but I was kind of hoping for the type that bypasses all the suffering. It really is amazing to think of all the things that have been discovered in medicine. God deserves the glory for all these advancements and I praise Him for the progress made in my disease. From a purely scientific point of view, if I had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma twenty-five years ago, I would not have lived more than a year. Five years ago, there was no chemotherapy around that would knock back the cancer like the new chemo I received before Christmas. Even this experimental drug, which has only been in use about a year, is an incredible advancement that gives people with damaged bone marrow hope for harvesting stem cells. I am thankful for all these discoveries and I am certain that, if God permits, man will continue to find ways to combat cancer and other diseases. If He chooses another transplant as the path for me to go, I pray for grace.

But I know God heals in other ways. Some doctors and nurses will tell you there are things they have seen that defy any medical explanation. Taylor told us some funny stories about healing from his recent trip. People sometimes say, “Yea, all those stories of miracles always happen in some third world country where there is no proof. Why doesn’t God just heal everyone in Northside Hospital? Then I’ll believe.” I imagine God has His reasons for what He does and where He does it. Even Jesus addressed such skepticism in the prideful people of His hometown as He prepared to share truth they did not want to hear. “Surely, you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself! Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.’” (See Luke 4:23-30)

One of Taylor’s friends, who went on a different outreach, shared God’s display of power as they visited a local church. In that church there was a lady that had been blessed with the gift of healing. When Zeke saw this, he said, “Man, I wish God would use me this way!” The lady told him to come over and she would pray for him. Zeke related the story: “She prayed for me a long time and when she finished I was stoked! But then she told me I needed to put this gift into practice and she pointed to Chris!” Chris was one of the leaders on the outreach and everyone knew he had a disability. Chris had been born with a condition where one leg was three to four inches shorter than the other. Taylor said Chris had a very noticeable limp and that he could not run or do physical activities the way most people could. “You want me to heal Chris?” Zeke asked reluctantly. Well, Zeke walked over to Chris and asked if he could pray for him. He did not lay a hand on him, but while he prayed Chris yelled, “What are you doing?” Chris described what felt like three separate tugs on his leg and his shorter leg grew about three inches. Taylor said this was one of the testimonies shared in front of two hundred people after all the students came back together in Hawaii at the end of the outreaches. As Zeke told the story, everyone turned around and looked at Chris. He just waved and said, “It’s true!”

Isn’t that cool? I asked Taylor, “What if someone denied that such a thing happened?” “I’d just give ’em Zeke’s phone number and let him tell the story.” Taylor said it was not uncommon for God to heal people out in the country-side of Cambodia. “We didn’t see much healing in town, but God often healed people in the hill country.” He told us about a guy who had been bedridden for two years. After much prayer, a missionary named Garth told him to get up. The guy not only got up and walked, but he started jumping. The funniest story Taylor told took place the previous year when a team went to pray for the sick in the country. “This girl on the outreach prayed for a man with a withered arm. Right there in front of everyone, the arm grew and became normal. The girl that prayed was so shocked, she fainted!” The “faith of a mustard seed…”

Many of you have heard, perhaps, that a generous family gave me a ticket to go to Africa this spring. I want to go without this catheter in my neck and with more than a mustard seed of faith! Our team will serve many orphans in Namibia whose parents have died of AIDS. How Africa needs healing! How the children need comfort for their hearts and food for their bellies! How the missionaries need encouragement and support from the Body of Christ! May our awesome God do far more than we can ask or imagine!

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

I guess “to be like Jesus” is a common goal of the Christian, but how does it happen? Goal setting and human effort do not bring what is needed in God’s eyes. But He will work in those who are willing to trust Him. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” God knows our prideful nature so well. He lets His perfect law show us we can never be righteous in His eyes by following rules. A new and clean heart is what we need… and that’s why we need a Savior.

But if we put our faith fully in Jesus and receive this gift of righteousness that Paul writes about, we are still challenged to live like Him. Becoming like Jesus is more God’s idea than our own and if we have this deep desire, we can know His Spirit is at work in our hearts. “When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey.” Giving up self, listening to our King, and trusting Him fully are the ways we progress on this journey. We obey the Lord because we love Him, and when we fail to obey we are sad because we know that His obedience saved us. How we need His grace.

So here’s a rather lengthy Hawaiian story that reminds me of my desperate need, God’s constant love, and Jesus’ radical instructions on how to live.

The Wednesday before Christmas, Taylor wanted to show us a beautiful place he found on the island, so our whole family hopped in the car Susan rented and drove toward the ocean. Taylor said we would need to walk a while, so we parked next to a wooden section of a stone wall by the road. The location was very beautiful and we spent about thirty minutes taking pictures, gazing at the Pacific, and smelling flowers. As the five of us walked back to where we parked, I noticed, to my dismay, that the wooden part of the wall had moved and a man was standing next to our car talking on a cell phone. “Never mind! Here they are!” he shouted, shoving his phone into his pocket. I said, “Uh oh.” “You can’t imagine how you have messed me up!” the man screamed. The wooden part of the wall was an entrance to his property on the ocean. A brown truck was parked in front of our car, unable to get to the road. It was evident we had picked a bad parking place and this man was letting us have it. “I’ve had this appointment for weeks and you made me miss it!” We all said we were sorry as we slid into the car, but our humble apologies would not appease. I didn’t have an idea what to do until I heard him shout, “You’re going to have to give me at least $100 for this!!!” I looked at Susan in the driver’s seat and said, “I don’t have $100, let’s just leave.” One of our children heartily agreed from the back seat, but Susan said, “I have $100 in my purse in the trunk.” I didn’t argue with her as she got out of the car. As the man continued to yell, using bad language and threatening lawsuits, Susan reached out her hand with five twenty dollar bills. The closing remarks of this nightmare were a little humorous. As the man snatched the money, he shouted, “I’ve had walking pneumonia for two weeks!” Susan, with a slightly raised voice, replied, “Well, my husband has terminal cancer.” He looked down at me in the car and all I could think to say was, “Merry Christmas.”

As we drove off, a heated discussion broke out in our family. One said we just wasted $100. Another said we should have driven away like I had originally suggested. Another said we should have run over the guy’s foot. I was still trying to figure out what we should have done. “I think Mom did the right thing. That guy really must have missed something important. Just think if we had an important place to go and when we raised our garage door someone had parked in our driveway blocking us. We’d be upset too!” My logic didn’t go too far with my children.

That evening, our friend, Anna, and her niece, Ranata, prepared a delicious Brazilian meal. Still baffled by our encounter, I told them the story and asked the question I should have considered much earlier. “What do you think Jesus would have done?” “He wouldn’t have given him $100!” someone interjected. But as we considered our dilemma, we all realized that Jesus tells us exactly how to react in such uncomfortable situations. “Love your enemy. Pray for those that mistreat you. Bless those who curse you. If someone steals from you, give him a little more. If someone sues you, give him more than he asks.” How opposite Jesus lived! If we are going to follow Him we must be intentionally detached from our money, our possessions, and our egos! His heart became so apparent to me that I knew exactly what Jesus would have done. “I think Jesus would have healed that man.”

There is a godly sorrow that comes when you realize you didn’t use an opportunity to say “yes” to the Lord. And who can redeem lost opportunities? Friday, we saw Taylor and his team off to the airport where they were to leave on their Cambodian outreach. Saturday, Christmas Eve, we had arranged for Susan and the girls to go on a snorkeling expedition. As we followed the directions to get to the place the boat docked, we discovered it was just a couple of blocks away from our disastrous parking place. As the girls prepared to get on the boat, I shared, “Since I’m not going with you guys, I think I’ll go find our friend.” Our youngest cried, “Dad, don’t you dare!” But I had already decided that our location was no coincidence. After waving bon voyage, I walked down the road and came to the wooden gate. No one seemed to be home as I walked along the wall. The several “Keep Out” and “No Trespassing” signs made me think I would probably not be welcome if anyone were home, but I decided to continue walking and praying. When I came to a spot near the ocean, at the rear of the wall, I could see three or four small houses on the property. Since there was still no sign of life, I decided it was time to leave. As I approached the gate, a brown truck drove up. My palms were sweaty as the familiar man jumped out to open the wooden gate. My heart started racing when I saw a giant black dog in the back of his truck. “Well, Lord, I guess this is an answer to prayer.” As the man turned around, we stood face to face. “Hello, friend”, I said. I tell you, he looked like he had seen a ghost. He started stammering and explaining how he really had missed an important doctor’s appointment that day and how angry he had been. “I know”, I said. “We felt terrible about it and I just wanted to tell you we were sorry.” In an ensuing, awkward moment of silence, I remembered I had a little souvenir in my pocket that I had bought at an outdoor market. It was a painted wooden gecko. I pulled it out and said, “Here’s a Christmas present.” Both hands shot up and he said, “No. I’m not going to take anything from you.” But I insisted and he meekly took the simple gift. “What are you doing now?” he asked. “Why don’t you come in for a while. My name is Peter and that’s my dog, Moose.”

We visited on his porch for a half an hour, I guess. His great, great, great grandfather had moved to the big island from Italy in the 1860’s and the coast property had been in his family ever since. Peter was a fisherman and the pneumonia had kept him from work. I told him how much our son, Taylor, loved to fish and he offered to take him out. “But I always fish at night and it takes about two hours to get to the good spots.” I told him I was sorry he had been sick and he told me he was sorry I had cancer. He went into his house and came back with some blueprints showing future plans for his property. He hopes to fix up the four little houses and rent them to vacationers. I told him it sure was a beautiful spot on the ocean. “Leave me your address and I’ll send you a week’s free vacation when I get everything built.” I wrote down our address on the piece of paper he gave me. As I got ready to leave, I said, “You know my family follows Jesus and we really felt bad about the other day. I think Jesus would have healed you if He had been here. Do you mind if I pray for you before I go?” “I guess so”, he answered. As I prayed, I opened my eyes and noticed that Peter probably was not used to being in prayer settings. He was just walking around listening to me pray. When I came to the part where I prayed that God would heal him of his pneumonia, Peter looked up at the sky and shouted, “Yes, God, and heal my friend, Dana, too!”

As I walked down the road to meet the girls, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and praise our God in Heaven. Only He can bring about such changes. Animosity turned to peace; anger turned to laughter; hatred turned to friendship… and the man who cussed us out three days earlier was now praying for my health.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:35-36

We had a successful surgery last Thursday as a port was put into my chest. Monday I received chemotherapy and after an easy day, I remembered Monday night and Tuesday why I hate chemo so much. But I am feeling better now and hopefully will sleep tonight and be able to work the rest of this week. I thank you again for so many prayers and kind words.

Susan told me I left out a word in a recent ‘journey’ and I told her to get used to it. The mind gets a little cloudy with all the poisons chasing the cancer out of my body. The numbers ’15-08-05′ represent a date and it is not a mistake. Israel, as many countries, puts the day first, then the month, then the year. On the 15th of August, at the order of the government of Israel, settlers in Gaza were removed from their homes. I will not write a political opinion of this decision. As a younger man, Ariel Sharon fought to establish settlements in the Gaza Strip. As an older man, Prime Minister Sharon, decided there might be a better chance for peace in Israel if the settlers were removed. He may be voted out of office for his decision as opinions on both sides of the issue are furiously debated. I doubt anyone has the exact truth on what will take place in Israel before Jesus returns, but I’ll offer a thought that gives me joy. I’ve only studied the formation of two nations that presently exist on earth: our nation and the nation of Israel. It is hard to read of what took place in 1776 (and the surrounding years) without believing that God had a powerful hand in our country coming into being. It is, I believe, impossible to read of what took place in 1948 (and the surrounding years) without recognizing the powerful hand of God in bringing the present nation of Israel into existence. When we earnestly pray for our nation and other nations, I believe we approach something precious to the heart of God.

On August 30th, we were on the Mount of Olives and I saw something I will never forget. Surrounded by a multitude of Israeli soldiers, many settlers, wearing bright orange t-shirts imprinted with the date ’15-08-05′, were participating in a type of funeral. This was the day the transported dead from Gaza were given new graves. We didn’t intentionally attend this event; it was just the day we had chosen to visit the well-traveled road that Jesus often walked. Instead of watching such a news story on television, I found myself looking into the eyes of those that were grieving. Some of you have looked into the eyes of those that have lost everything in the recent hurricanes. There is something about being close to pain that is jolting.

This week several have sent me Scriptures that hold the promises of God for those who love Him. Many expend quite a bit of energy trying to figure out why God would allow the suffering we have seen in recent months. Some even reject faith in God because they can’t grasp a satisfactory answer to the question of suffering. I can’t give perfect answers, but I can tell anyone with great confidence that God is love. One day He may explain everything to us in such a way that we will see how suffering on this earth never contradicted His love. One day we might fully understand the wrath of God and the mercy of God. But here is what we know now: “God desires no one to perish, but all to have eternal life… and eternal life is found in His Son.” So instead of worrying about the things you will never understand, put your energy into walking with God through His Son, Jesus. Is it possible that one who walked with God was hit by last year’s tsunami in Southeast Asia? Is it possible that one who walked with God was impacted by a hurricane in our gulf coast? Is it possible brothers and sisters in Christ have been devastated by the earthquake in Pakistan? Is it possible to be a Jew who walks with God in Israel? Is it possible to be an Arab who walks with God in the West Bank? Is it possible to walk with God through unemployment or disease or even death?

The hope for mankind is not in teaching everyone how to avoid pain and suffering. The hope for mankind is in knowing the One who overcame the world. That same One told us we would have tribulation on this earth. He even predicted the things that would take place before He returned. He does not want us to argue over the meanings of His predictions; He wants us to walk with Him. He’s a Friend that can take us through any valley. He is the Shepherd who whispers instructions and promises to His children. Listen to Him and believe.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock… My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, will I seek… Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors… I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:5,8,11,13,14