Category: struggle

One of our favorite songs in summer camp was written by the apostle Peter: “Cast your burdens… onto Jesus… He cares for you!” Usually four or five campers would lead the song as there are hand motions and a dance involved. (The kids dance a little better than I do.) After singing this song over eight weeks of the summer, one day I asked the children: “How do we do this? How do we cast our burdens, our cares, our anxieties on Jesus? What does this mean?” I love the answers kids (and counselors) give. “You pray and tell God what is bothering you,” said one child. How true! Surely a part of casting our burdens on Jesus is communicating exactly what we feel. We can be bluntly honest with our Father in Heaven. He already knows every detail of our lives, but we can hand off our anxieties as we simply tell him the weight we are carrying and ask for grace.

Sometimes this communication is the hardest thing. When I’m hurting, I tend to withdraw. This time last year I was in the hospital for a stem cell transplant. Most of those twenty-one days I just wanted to pull the sheets over my head and hope the time would pass quickly. We all have our own personalities and ways of dealing with hardship, but I can tell you from experience that God can handle anything we tell him… our fears, our anger, our disappointment, and our pain. Even under my sheets, all hooked up to medical machines, I could cast the good, the bad, and the ugly on the strong shoulders of One who endured far worse than I’ll ever experience.

Shannon, a wise counselor, added another suggestion to our camp discussion: “When we have problems and worries, it helps to remember how God has helped us in the past. When we recall how God has rescued us on other occasions, we can quickly cast our present burdens on him.” How true this is! Ten years ago our family was stuck in Athens, Greece on the way home from Jerusalem. All five of us were flying stand-by and unfortunately all flights were oversold. “Sir, I’m afraid it will be at least five days before you will be able to make to Atlanta.” It was Saturday; school started on Monday. I thought, “Five days! I’ve got to get back to school! And how am I going to pay for five more nights in Athens?!” Of course our kids were celebrating. “Five more days in a hotel and excused absences from school… hooray!” So as they headed to the pool to swim, I headed to our room to cast my burdens on the Lord. I remember it like it was yesterday. God said, “I’ll get you home on time,” and the next day, to our children’s disappointment, we were all on a plane for the States. Within a week, a doctor friend and his wife knocked on our door to tell me I had cancer. One of my first thoughts was this: “God, you got us home from Athens, you can take care of this too.” Some might think, “Dana, these two problems are not quite the same… getting on an airplane and cancer?” But don’t ‘little’ burdens often seem like ‘huge’ burdens? Can the God who rescues us in lesser trials also rescue us in fiery trials? “Is anything too hard for God?” An angel once asked Abraham this rhetorical question. Sarah laughed at an impossible promise, but “Abraham believed God…”

Maybe this is the most important part of I Peter 5:7 – “… because He cares for you.” This is the test of faith. When all is dark; when there seems to be no hope; when our minds say ‘impossible’… do we believe He cares? The enemy tries to drown us with logical questions. “If He cares, why is this happening? If He cares, would He not intervene? In fact, is God even there?” Never criticize a person in pain. Never judge the heart of a fellow sojourner. Steer clear of simplistic, flippant comments to those going through difficulty. Never take the path of Job’s friends who misrepresented God… though they thought they had things figured out. But this we can know without a doubt: “He cares.” “He cares for you” is the Good News for the world and we are his ambassadors called to live this beautiful message.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Fred is a friend my age who has been dealing with liver disease quite a while and is on the list for a liver transplant in Maryland. He called to encourage me while I was in the hospital, though he has really been in a more difficult trial. Sunday I called to encourage him, but he is the one that was the encourager. He reminded me of an important attitude. “I don’t care if it is a bad day or a good day, I always give thanks to the Lord.”

Our city has experienced unprecedented flooding this week and many have suffered great loss. A news crew filmed a circle of eight or nine people praying as the devastation was shown in the background. The section of the prayer shown on television was full of praise and thanksgiving. Though they had lost their homes and property, they were giving thanks that they had been rescued and they were praising their Father in the name of their Savior, Jesus Christ.

“Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (I Thessalonians 4:16)

It is God’s will for those in Christ to be thankful. This is the reminder I’ve needed this week.

Written from prison:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

On the Fourth of July, I took a hike from my parents’ house to a familiar place with a beautiful view. As I walked I noticed the ground was cracked, the surroundings were parched, and there was no beauty on the journey. But I had to go through this ‘desert’ to get to the spot with the splendid view.

In a few hours, after a summer of plenty, I’ll enter another desert. God doesn’t hesitate to let his children walk on cracked ground. Though he often makes us lie down in green pastures, parched surroundings also work into his plans. And the enemy tempts us mightily in these difficult places. So we pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” But what if we’re led into the desert? Oh for an unconditional trust in the One who knows the past and future! Once God led his children into the desert because he knew they weren’t ready to face a fiercer enemy. “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, ‘If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.” (Exodus 13:17-18)

Of course when we don’t completely trust, a natural human tendency quickly emerges: complaining. “So the people grumbled…” “In the desert the whole community grumbled…” “So they quarreled with Moses and said, ‘Give us water to drink.’” God is not telling us to be pretentious or dishonest. There is nothing wrong in saying, “Lord, I could really use a cool cup of water about now. Would you tell me where to find one?” But we must leave the answers (and timing) to him. Does he not know what we need even before we ask? When his wise ways don’t line up with our plans, we must avoid the complaining mode. In the Father’s eyes, such an attitude translates into unbelief (read Psalm 78 for a quick review). When we complain and grumble we’re not keeping in mind what God has done in the past; we’re not remembering his infinite love toward us; and we’re not trusting he is able to bring us through the darkness into wonderful light.

Praise in the desert must bring a smile to the Father’s face. “We’re not spoiled children who only love you when our bellies are full and everything is going well. No, our hearts will always be loyal for we know who you are! You’ve given your Son to provide the way to you and you’ve given your Holy Spirit to comfort and strengthen us. So we will praise you in the storm and trust your grace to be sufficient.”

As always, Jesus is the example. He was led by the Spirit into the desert and was tempted by the evil one. Though he was weak in the flesh, he lived on the Word of God and even Satan could not pierce his armor. These forty days were not easy… but they weren’t supposed to be. So if we are sons and daughters of God, why should we be surprised by difficult seasons? “When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time. Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit…” And if we are sons and daughters of God, why should we be surprised by victorious conclusions?

As usual, I am preaching to myself… so if you hear any grumbling or faithlessness on my part, just smack me and remind me to practice what I preach. Susan will probably send periodic e-mails to share the fun we’re having. I’ll write when I can. We’re thankful for all your prayers and kindness.

“Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” Isaiah 50:10

Preparation for a rough time ahead usually involves receiving different input. I’m smart enough (I think) to know that the better physical shape I’m in, the better the chance of recovering quickly, so I’m walking quite a bit and getting this old body in tune. Susan knows emotional preparation is important, so we’re getting away a couple of days this weekend to celebrate 28 years of marriage. Doctors have prescribed a rather intense chemo regimen to keep the cancer as low as possible before transplant, so twice a week, two out of three weeks, I get infusions at the doctor’s office. But the Holy Spirit gives the best advice…

We were at my parents over Memorial Day weekend and these words from Paul leapt from the page and I’ve been pondering them ever since. “… that I may gain Christ and be found in him…” “Be found in Jesus” – that’s the counsel from above. Sunday we discussed this amongst a community of believers. Different thoughts emerged as I proposed that this message was not for me alone. “What does ‘being found in Christ’ involve?” I love my son. Few would call him a scholar, but his insights typically bring simple understanding. Taylor said, “You know you guys can often find me on the lake fishing or on the volleyball court playing.” His mom interjected, “Or in the classroom, we hope…” “Oh yes, you’ll find me in class,” Taylor said, “but those other places are where I’d rather be found.” The meaning is clear: you can often be found where you want to be. So where do you like to be? The cool thing is I have often found myself very close to Christ while I’m fishing with my son or while I’m working with my family at day camp or when I’m with my wife on a date. There is an intentional aspect to being ‘found in Christ,’ though. Taylor is not found on a lake early Saturday morning unless he prepared the night before. I don’t have the energy to do all the stuff he does to catch a fish… but I pray I have the energy to be found in Christ. If I am lazy or deceived by different priorities or consumed with fleeting matters… I am stupid.

For in Christ I have everything I need to go through the valley of the shadow of death. He removes the fear; he gives the peace that passes all understanding; he gives the strength for the day; and he even gives joy in the journey. And beyond the blessings I receive, there is the grand promise that God produces lasting fruit in those that abide in the Son. Pretty amazing…

People have gone though difficult times lately. Some forecasters say things are getting better and there is reason to hope. These forecasts usually pertain little to what God is doing. He does not fret when economies crumble or wars break out or oceans roar. In fact, he tells us to expect everything to shake until only the unshakable remains. The ‘unshakable’ things can only be found in Christ – the goal of the journey. “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

We’ve set July 13 as the day the long process of ‘stem transplant’ begins. After 3 or so days of outpatient stuff, I’ll be admitted to Emory for approximately 3 weeks. Then I’ll be ‘out of commission’ for about 3 months while my four million stem cells re-build a depleted immune system. This use of God’s creation of my very own cells to knit me back together is quite fascinating — not fun, but fascinating.

This is usually my last writing of the season, as school is ending and camp starts up. Steve, my tech guru, is working on re-hosting our mailing list on his server. This change will get rid of the Yahoo! Groups ads, and I’ll be able to resume sending notes myself rather than having to relay them through Steve.

If there are updates to pass along, I’ll communicate this summer. Susan and the kids and I really do appreciate your support and prayers.

Here’s last week’s ‘story for another time’: The three-day stem cell collection went very smoothly. I got home Friday around 2:00 and hoped to relax and recover. A little before 4:00, I noticed blood trickling down my chest from where the three-line catheter entered my body. This gadget was used to gather the stem cells and it is an important tool for the upcoming transplant. We called the doctor and followed the instructions to apply pressure for an hour. When this did not work, they told us to go to the Emergency Room, which seems to always be busiest on Friday nights. I was high on the triage list and soon we were in a nice room with nurses attending my wound. Four hours later, after going through numerous bandages and gowns, the bleeding continued. Everyone seemed confused. I thought it was due to low platelets, but tests proved otherwise. They put a sandbag weight on my chest and we just sat there. Finally (I’m a slow learner), I said to Susan, “Pray that this will stop! Jesus can stop this bleeding better than these people can.” Susan prayed a prayer of faith. She asked Jesus to put an immediate end to the problem. I thought, “God hears the prayer of my wife. I’ll be out of here soon!” Two hours later, I was still bleeding. The doctor told us it was not life-threatening, so I told him I could bleed in my own bed as well as I could bleed at Emory. We had to be back the next morning anyway, so a little past midnight we drove home.

Of course, I bled all night and as we arrived at the clinic Saturday morning, nothing had changed. God was answering our prayers with a definite: “No.” At 12:30 pm, I informed my new nurses that I had learned that I did not need to be in their presence to bleed. (My nurses don’t think I’m too funny sometimes, but they really do love me.) Promising we would return at 4:00 if nothing had improved, Susan and I went to watch our girls’ tennis team play in the AA State Championship. We played great and came in second in the state. I peeked under my shirt after it was over and saw the bleeding had not stopped so we drove back to the emergency room where a doctor who inserts catheters met us. He was a nice young man and suggested that they hospitalize me two days and put a five pound weight on my chest to stop the mysterious bleeding. Susan and I suggested a better idea: “Pull the catheter!” He admitted that was an option, but he did not have authority without talking to an oncologist. “Do you want to borrow my cell phone?” Thankfully, my oncologist, an incredible but crafty multiple myeloma expert, was not ‘on call.’ The doctor ‘on call’ said he would trust the decision the radiologist and the patient made. Thirty minutes later, Susan and I were walking out of Emory laughing at a great turn of events and thanking God for saying ‘no’ to previous prayers.

If God had stopped the bleeding and the catheter had remained, I would have been begging to transplant as soon as possible (like this week) to get rid of the hassle in my chest (I think the doctor knew what I had forgotten over 8 years.) Without the catheter, I had some negotiating power as we made summer plans. We really did want to finish the school year, start up camp, celebrate an anniversary, go to a few summer weddings, and visit our families before going into seclusion. We think God will help us in these endeavors, but first he had to answer “no.”

I’ll close with the Scripture I’ve used most over these years. We’re all running a race, and we want to run well. This passage follows a chapter that tells us it is impossible to please God without faith. Chapter 11 tells us what faith is and gives many stories to examine. The following verses are rooted in Jesus, who not only is our best example, but who is the Author and Perfecter of faith. He’s also the Finish Line… so run well and keep your eyes fixed on your Lord and Savior.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3