Category: struggle

Wow… what a summer! Teachers came back to work this week as we prepare for students to return Monday. Our leaders have worked diligently these last three months to provide the safest environment and best educational opportunities in a different world. We would all appreciate your prayers as school begins.

There was no travel to distant lands this summer, but we did stay connected with brothers and sisters across the world. Through Zoom, we were able to visit and be encouraged by friends in Israel, Ecuador, Brazil, Greece, Thailand, Namibia and several states in our country.

Many nations have experienced the COVID pandemic without some of our modern health benefits. Pastor Manuel’s family suffered terribly in Ecuador as both Paula’s parents and a brother died of the virus. Mayra, Marco’s wife, is mostly recovered after being hit by a truck while riding her bike to work. We’ve cried and prayed and longed to be with our friends.

Such trials can create feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. And though we know that God is with us, the pain of loss can be overwhelming. So where can we go but to the Lord? He is faithful to encourage us with words such as these: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) God sees and understands every circumstance.

Jesus did not treat death or suffering in a flippant manner. He entered the pain of His friends and saw death as the enemy only God could defeat. Jesus wept with Mary and Martha after the death of their brother, but He challenged them to believe in Him — the Chosen. “I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

I’ve been healthy this summer, though I did spend a lot of time at Emory. The attempts to trick my bone marrow into producing essential blood cells have not worked, so I continue to get periodic transfusions. The good news came from a clear bone marrow biopsy and PET Scan. My blood still shows no cancer and we praise God for His care. Two years ago, I entered a cutting edge CAR-T cell trial. Out of twenty-four initial patients, I am the only one still cancer-free.

“Why me?” is a question I cannot answer, but I tell God I want to live boldly and not take His gifts for granted. I can say things from experience that people need to hear, but I want to share with the heart of Jesus. He is perfect. Let’s pray that each of us will be filled with His compassion, understanding, and love. Our world needs such blessings.

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” I John 3:18

I often pray for many with cancer. In recent years or months, some well-known people from quite diverse backgrounds have been diagnosed: Tom Brokaw, Alex Trabek, John Lewis, Rush Limbaugh… I also know many friends, young and old, who are dealing with the disease. With frequent trips to Emory, I have met dozens of people from all races, ages, and religions who have recently received bad news. I know what they are going through and feel I can pray with insight… and occasionally I get to pass on a word of encouragement.

People sometimes ask what is happening with me, so here is a little update. I was one of two groups of twelve people on a CAR T-cell trial at Emory to fight multiple myeloma. Doctors continue using the treatment, but it did not turn out to be the cure some predicted. Of the twenty-four, I am the only one still cancer-free nineteen months out from the procedure.

I’ve gotten platelet infusions each week for the past year and a half and blood infusions at least once a month. My doctor knows there are drawbacks to such a pattern, so last week he sent me to a doctor who specializes in non-cancer, blood-related challenges. I’ve been placed on a steroid that accompanied most of the chemotherapies I’ve had in the past to try to jump-start blood cell production in my bone marrow, or to give my caregivers a hint of other measures to take.

Susan and I are so thankful for all who have prayed for us these many years. We are also thankful for the doctors, assistants, and nurses who have helped us. We have become quite good friends with many. God works in mysterious ways and I have tried to learn to keep my hands open, simply remaining in His love, knowing He is in control. He is a faithful Father who gives us His comforting Spirit, as we live in the Body of our Lord Jesus — who understands perfectly what we encounter on this earth.

By the end of the school year, I’ll try to give another update… though you know this is not my favorite writing topic. Jesus gives us everything we need for life and godliness. God hears our prayers and allows us to fulfill His purposes in us as we trust Him. Thanks for being a part of our lives.

“Therefore, since we have a Great High Priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet He did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” II Peter 1:3

The summer break is over and school has begun. Fifteen months ago I entered a medical trial to continue the battle against my blood cancer, multiple myeloma. The cancer has left and has not returned, and we praise God. I continue to receive weekly infusions of blood cells, but I am thankful to be relatively drug-free. We appreciate your prayers and love.

God gave Susan and me incredible opportunities this past summer to visit family and friends in many places. We traveled to Tennessee a couple of times, to Colorado for Owen’s third birthday, and to Israel, Ecuador, and Spain. I’ll share stories over the course of the year, with all glory going to our Father in Heaven.

The challenge for the child of God is to be grateful in the good times and the bad. Dealing with cancer for nineteen years, I would say God has answered ‘no’ or ‘wait’ more than He has answered ‘yes’ to thousands of prayers. Though we may struggle with the ‘whys,’ we can always confidently sing: “You’re A Good, Good Father” which contains the line: “You are perfect in all of Your ways.”

Jesus teaches us to trust… with His words and with His life. “Though He was God’s Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.” (Hebrew 5:8) I don’t fully comprehend this truth, but it is clear Jesus suffered many things before His cruel death on the Cross.

Like most, I would rather be ‘blessed’ constantly with good health, abundant finances, and ‘happy’ times, but it seems the path to maturity involves difficulty. A foreign-born evangelist I admire recently said, “Without suffering we cannot know the Lord… ” Many might disagree, but this brother has endured much and has recognized good fruit as a product. He would never wish his trials on others or advise a believer to create his own suffering, but he realizes that hardships during the life of faith result in blessing.

Jesus taught: “The poor in spirit are blessed… Those who mourn are blessed… Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness are blessed…” with a future promised but not defined. “For the kingdom of heaven is theirs… for they will be comforted… for they will be filled.” Jesus — chosen and blessed by His Father in Heaven — was called ‘Man of Sorrows’ as He walked the earth, yet now He reigns on high.

May we learn to ask, seek, and knock as our Lord instructs. And may we learn to trust with child-like faith as we give thanks for the “love the Father has given us, that we should be called God’s children. And we are!” (I John 3:1)

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has now sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” Hebrews 12:1-2

“And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
(all quotes of Scripture are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible)

A close friend who lives in another town texted: “I’m sorry you had to go back in the hospital. Was that expected or is this a setback?” I picked up a sinus infection several days ago and because my immune system is so compromised, I ended up spending five more days on the ninth floor at Emory. Here’s a great ‘setback’ story from the Old Testament:

So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up – one on one side, one on the other – so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. (Exodus 17:10-13)

Moses discovered that when his hands were down there was a setback; when his hands were up, there was victory. If this is the complete secret to success, surely my hands will always be up… and I’ll go undefeated. And if it works on the battlefield, then perhaps I can find a way to keep my hands up when I play my neighbor in checkers. And when I anticipate a long argument with my wife, I’ll invite Aaron and Hur to my house.

As far as we know, this is only time such battle tactics were used, but surely there is a message for God’s children. After the battle, “Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is My Banner. He said, ‘For hands were lifted up to the throne of the Lord.’” (Exodus 17:15-16)

I recently woke up in the middle of the night with these thoughts, and started feeling one of the lingering symptoms of the sinus infection. Two Tylenol always help with the headaches, so I rose, took two tablets and went back to bed. Twenty minutes later, I was still thinking about this story and my headache was much worse. Laying on my side, I lifted up my free arm and gained immediate relief from the pain. “Hmm,” I thought, “I don’t think Susan will appreciate me waking her up with the request to hold my hand toward the ceiling the rest of the night.” Thankfully the headache did not return.

Setbacks are a part of life, but God wants us to always live with Him as our Banner… and we need brothers and sisters like Aaron and Hur to do it. We cannot live victoriously without members of the Body of Christ reminding us of the Father’s heart and holding our hands up when we are weak.

To live as The Lord is My Banner, we must keep our eyes lifted up. “God is over all; He is not worried or confused; I will exalt Him.” The world cannot be expected to think or act this way, but God’s children can… because “we know and rely on the love God has for us.” In the last verse of 10,000 Reasons, Matt Redman says such living sustains us to the end of our time on earth and into life eternal.

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come.
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore.

Bless the Lord oh my soul. Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name.

“I look up to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

10,000 Reasons ©2011 Atlas Mountain Songs (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

God repeatedly tells us: “I love you;” “I am with you;” “nothing is impossible for Me;” and “you do not need to be afraid.” He does not tell us: “Life will be easy;” “you will always be understood and accepted;” “you will always be treated fairly;” or “My kingdom comes without struggle.”

All we have to do is examine the life of Christ to understand the tensions that exist when deity confronts humanity. Disciples of Jesus have been filled with the Holy Spirit, so conflict is bound to appear as we live in a fallen world. Our challenge is to keep eyes on our Teacher while following the two great commands: “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength;” and “love your neighbor as yourself.”

So why should there be struggle if ‘love’ is the driving force in our lives? We know there is an enemy who hates… Satan hates God and he hates people. Immediately after Jesus was baptized, He was led into the wilderness to face the devil. Satan wanted to defeat God’s work from the beginning, but God will not be defeated. Spiritual war existed as Jesus walked the earth and spiritual war takes place today. We should not be surprised when we are resisted or misunderstood or persecuted while living boldly for Christ. Satan hates us… but God loves us; He is with us; He can do all things; and we do not need to be afraid.

Brilliantly, our Father in Heaven uses our trials, our struggles, and even our failures to mold us into His image. Even Jesus grew this way: “Son though He was, He learned obedience from what He suffered.” (Hebrews 5:8) Disciples learn to look at hardship from a different perspective. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-3)

As we encounter trials and as we persevere, God teaches us to live like Christ. Trusting and loving His Father, Jesus resisted the devil, shared the good news of the kingdom, and loved people. “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps.” (I Peter 2:21) “Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:3)

We can be overcomers because He overcame!

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33