Category: family

Last week a good friend reminded me that his oldest child was born in 1982. The highlight of the year for parents is the birth of a child. Maybe huge world events took place in 1986; maybe important people died; maybe key elections were held… but in 1986 our son, Taylor, was born. Because his lungs were not fully developed, Taylor spent thirteen days in the intensive care unit. Susan and I felt so helpless as he was hooked up to a respirator. We prayed and cried as we rode the roller coaster of good reports and bad reports, but finally Taylor was proclaimed healthy enough to come home… and life has never been the same.

How many lessons does God teach us through our children? I’m sure I knew something about love before kids, but such familiar verses as John 3:16 exploded with new meaning after Taylor was born. “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” What kind of love motivates a Father to sacrifice his only Son for people who don’t deserve it? Familiar stories like the one of Abraham and Isaac forced me to consider what faith in God really means. What kind of trust and obedience leads a father to put his only son on an altar?

For a little more than twenty-five years we’ve watched a little boy grow up. I’ve tried to teach him the things a father should. I’ve let him learn from my mistakes and I’ve encouraged him through some of his own. I’ve often marveled at the faith of our children and I’ve marveled even more at the numerous times God has revealed himself to them. He loves our children more than we do, so in a way, we as parents are simply participating with God as He molds our kids. Now with a great wife and a wonderful job, Taylor is asking what it means to ‘seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness.’

I’m trying to learn one more lesson. As parents, we know what it means to delight in our children. Does God the Father delight in us in similar ways? I think He does. “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it — we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.” (I John 3:1 from The Message)

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph 3:17

The day before she graduated, Kinsey’s nursing school had a very nice ‘pinning ceremony’ for the graduates. Six guys and twenty-four ladies celebrated the end of an intense few years of higher education. Kinsey often told me that their group was very unified and she really loved each classmate. Teachers echoed this same compliment during banquet comments and in various conversations. One professor told me, “This group of kids is very talented, but also very cooperative. We didn’t notice competition or rivalry at all. With these good attitudes and their newly acquired skills, we believe these young people will make great contributions in the work place.” The Scripture printed on the program and read in the ceremony was one the students adopted as a verse they hoped would describe their class: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

It is interesting that Paul chose the words we and us when writing this encouragement. Each young nurse knows he or she will be going into the work place as an individual, but the emphasis at their celebration was: “God has prepared us, and we are going out to do his good work.” Paul understood the matter of individual responsibility before God, but it seemed he most often communicated in terms of the “body of Christ” or the “family of God”. It was very powerful to see a group of Christians with common preparation and common purpose standing before their teachers and loved ones with this identity: “We are God’s workmanship. We realize we’ve been created in our Lord Jesus to do good things in this world… works God has prepared in advance for us to do.”

What if we saw our families from this viewpoint? “We are God’s creation. He has placed us in Christ to do good works… things He’s already planned according to his good will.” What if we saw the church in this way? “We are God’s building. We are the family of God in Christ created to make a difference in this world. These good works are God’s plans… things He knew in advance we would do on earth to bring him glory.” God has placed a lot of wisdom and beauty and potential in we and us…

“You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” Ephesians 2:19-22

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat — for he grants sleep to those he loves. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.” Psalms 127:1-3

Could the last sentence in this passage be connected to the first two? The psalmist did not write this, but it seems consistent: “Unless the Lord builds the home, the husband and wife labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the children, the parents work in vain.” Three coaches congratulated nearly thirty high school tennis players after our season at a recent banquet. As I looked out over the audience of parents I thought, “How can we possibly raise children in this crazy world without God in the lead?”

Our two oldest graduate from college this weekend, a son in Athens, Georgia and a daughter in Searcy, Arkansas. I am heading west today to be with Kinsey and Susan plans to fly to join me early Saturday morning after attending Taylor’s Friday night ceremony. We are so happy, but both parents and children admit that God is the Architect who deserves the credit. Within two months Taylor and Kinsey also plan to marry and begin the important task with their spouses of building a strong home. Various statistics say that nearly one half of all marriages in America end in divorce. We know the enemy uses a host of weapons to try to destroy what God joins together, but I recently heard another statistic: couples who attend church together and daily pray together have a divorce rate of less than one half of one per cent. “Unless the Lord builds the house…”

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess… Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:13-16

First, I’d like to wish ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ to everyone. “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (Psalms 107:1) ‘To give thanks’ is the simple response of a grateful child. May such an attitude always rule our hearts. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

Next, I’d like to thank Steve Wolf for investing a ton of time and energy in organizing close to ten years of writing. Steve and Julie, who now live in Colorado, are beautiful people and dear friends. By clicking on ‘Dana’s Christian Journey’ you can easily find past writings. Feel free to share with anyone.

Finally, I have some family news to share. Saturday night our daughter, Kinsey, called to say that she said ‘yes’ to a certain question. Jordan Stanley asked her to marry him. He asked me for my daughter’s hand a few weeks ago so we knew the day was approaching. I really like Jordan, but I have to admit the engagement of a daughter is hitting me harder than the engagement of a son. Why should a grown man cry when he thinks of giving away his little girl? (I’m not saying I cried… I’m just asking the question…)

So it looks like we will have two weddings this summer… Taylor & Emma and Kinsey & Jordan. We are all happy and curious about the days ahead. Feel free to send advice and feel free to rejoice with us.

Love,
Dana and Susan

One of my friends wondered why I didn’t write about Jesus turning the water to wine last week as I shared of our family’s upcoming wedding. I asked my students recently, “Why do you think Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at the wedding in Cana of Galilee?” There was an awkward silence. Finally, a hand went up and an unconfident student proposed that maybe the wine represented Jesus’ blood that he would one day shed on the cross.

I wonder sometimes if we’ve painted such a boring portrait of Jesus that we can’t even imagine him laughing or joking or dancing or celebrating at a banquet. Maybe there is symbolism in John’s story of the wedding feast. Water can represent death… so Jesus changed death into life. He sure does this. ‘Six’ is the number for man… so Jesus used the six huge waterpots to reveal God. Jesus is definitely the Son of God and the Son of Man. Marriage signifies the continuance of human life… so Jesus extended his Father’s blessing on holy matrimony that began in the Garden of Eden. We know God honors marriage. Maybe the wine represented the blood Jesus was to shed on the cross??

I offered different answers to my class that were not quite as symbolic. “Maybe Jesus enjoyed a good glass of wine. And maybe he absolutely loved to see two children of Israel commit their lives to each other at a wedding. And maybe, at his mother’s insistence, he realized the host of the wedding would be profoundly embarrassed if he ran out of wine at the banquet. And maybe, after thinking about it a little bit, he knew he could make the celebration even better because his Father could produce the best glass of wine ever made. Maybe Jesus would shock us all at how comfortable he was at a banquet and how free he was to love every person that came into his presence. Maybe Jesus wants us to be just as free.”

So, to answer my friend, I hope Jesus comes to Taylor’s and Emma’s wedding! He is getting the first invitation! I want him to bring the life-giving joy that makes us all happy to be alive. I want him to remind us that the Father in Heaven celebrates when two of his children commit their lives to one another in marriage. I want all our friends and all of Taylor’s friends and all of Emma’s friends to feel welcome and loved. I hope we all recognize Jesus as a loving King who is far from ordinary; One who has the power to give life with a single word! And if Jesus wants to turn a little water into wine, I’m going to get the first glass and propose a toast to the newlyweds and to the Maker of weddings.

“Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not know where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” Jn 2:8-10